Disclaimer:


If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.

♥♥

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Day 12 SURVIVED!!

I rock. I really do. Is that vain? I don't care. I'm so stoked.

I've just gotten back from dinner out. And, I'm proud to announce, I'm still OP. Yup!! ME!!!
Did you know (west coasters) that every White Spot location has a binder that has the nutritional value of every one of their dishes? All you have to do is ask and they will bring it out to you. Plus they gave me a printout of the Taste of Tuscany dishes that are their signature menu right now. How cool is that??

I had gone online and figured what I thought would be a healthy choice. When I got to the restaurant and got the printout, I was pleasantly suprised to find I was really close to what I had thought.

I had the Tuscany Shrimp Salad. It is a bed of greens, with shrimp, red grapes, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, unsweetened dried cranberries, and a vinegrette dressing. I got the dressing and the seeds on the side. I used half of each. And my salad was utterly delightful. And it was a reasonable amount of calories. I drank green tea and water. And I remained within my caloric budget for the day!!

I ROCK!!!

Dee

I'm going to make it... if it KILLS me!

*gnashes teeth*

I'm going through an emotional crisis, but it's not mine to share, so I can't tell you what it is. Suffice it to say, I'm fairly devestated, but I have to buck up and get over it, which I will, just not today. Although it's killing me because I can't even cry because I don't have a safe place to do so. I want to burst into tears and ugly sob in the worst way. But my husband doesn't know what's going on, and I don't want to tell him. I also don't want to stress him out by being hysterical in front of him and then not telling him why. I could go out to the car and ugly cry, but I have to go shopping. I am NOT hitting the stores with a puffy blotchy face. Knowing my luck I'd run into my cutest ex. Gah. NOT happening. Tomorrow I have to face this head on, with not having been able to get my emotions out, and pretend like everything is hunkydory. I am not looking forward to it. I may win an Oscar. I have to do my best anyways.

So I'm facing that today, which for some stupid reason makes me want to eat chips. Why? *shakes head*

THEN all of a sudden, I remember that I have to do a White Spot mystery shop, an today is the last day I can do it. SHIT. I'm on day 12 of being OP, and I refuse to fuck this up. I have already got a plan for tomorrow's chili cheese dog day, so thought I was over the hump. HA!

Okay, hop online and check out the menu... done. I mapped out what I am having, and have planned the rest of the days eats around it, while getting all my nutritional elements in. Damn, I'm good. *shakes head again*

THIS, my friends, is a classic example of "failing to plan is planning to fail". Today could go completely sideways if I let it. And I mean completely. But the fact that I'm on such a winning streak... it is keeping me motivated like nothing else has. I will own this weekend, just like I did last weekend. I will win, because I am worth it!

Oh, and I weighed in today. Down another 1.4lbs, to 148.0lbs. I'm really happy with that. Slow and steady wins the race... or the journey, in this case. I'm not on a race. I am losing weight in a slow steady manner that ensures that I am statistically speaking, going to keep it off. Yup yup I am.

*deep sigh*

I want to be sad today, but I have to put on my happy sunshine face. Some things just suck.

Wish me luck...

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Friday, January 30, 2009

I hope Oprah sees this!!

Check this out! I think she's totally right... blogging is definately the missing link.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Wicked Ab Workout & Is This Normal??

Wicked ab workout: I sit at my computer all day, so I sit on an excercise ball. Whomever said that this is good for your back has probably never sat on one, because slouching on it is incredibly easy. But for the last three days I've been having fun on it. I lift my feet off the ground and straddle the ball like a horse, gripping it with my knees and using my abs to hold myself steady. Seriously, my abs feel like I've done 50 million situps and crunches. Top to bottom, too, including my obliques. The act of balancing is a plus ten on the ab workout scale.

Which brings me to "is this normal?". Ever since I hit 40 I'm obsessed with death and dying. I woke up this morning to sore abs, and my first thought was "wouldn't it be awful if that was abdominal or organ cancer and I was actually dying from it, thinking it was an ab workout related pain".

WTF??? Who THINKS those things???

I watched Susan Sommers on Oprah yesterday. You know she is 62 years old and looks AMAZING. She takes 62 pills a day, in vitamins, minerals and supplements. 62 a day! I know, that's insane, right? But she LOOKS and FEELS amazing. And she's 62! She uses hormone creams daily, she does yoga, she eats clean, and she does not feel 62. I wonder if she obsesses like I do? Will I end up like her? Eating 62 vitamins, minerals and supplements a day? I might! If it means peace of mind regarding living well and longer.

I guess I'm really having issues with half my life being over. I'm not normally a "glass is half empty" person. I'm usually an optimist. But for some reason, 40 has snuck up and smacked me so hard on the head that I'm freaking out thinking the pain is brain cancer. Okay, that's dramatic, but you get my drift.

I just wish I could stop those thoughts. It's not a nice thing to wake up to. It wasn't concious, it was the first thought that popped into my head after "ow, my abs hurt".

Side note: I'm on day 11 of being OP, and I'm coming up on the weekend. I'm not feeling incredibly confident, so I need to do some serious planning. Sunday is Chili Cheese Dog Day. We will be ice skating, which will burn some calories, but I need to sit down and figure out an eating plan that will allow me to partake and not sabotage my efforts. Of course, as I'm typing this, my mind is racing ahead. I'm thinking I'll make my own chili, and I'll have a weiner, smothered in low fat chili, with a sprinkle of cheese and a swack of fried onions (actually, sauteed in water onions, but fried sounds better). Without a bun, it should be manageable, right? Either way, I'll have to plan, track and figure calories in and out.

I can do this. I can continue my streak. I WILL continue my streak.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Are you going finish strong?

One of my best friends sent me this this morning. I wondered, because she's one of those people that I love. You know the kind... the ones that DON't forward everything that comes their way.

It brought a tear to my eye in the end, watching him overcome his momentary dilemma. He didn't struggle. He just took it one little step at a time, and did it. He finished strong.

Of course, I equate this to my journey (it's what I do, it's how I roll). When I go on some crazy binge, to get back on track, it takes purposeful steps. Just like he did. Not crazy thrashing or willy nilly "trying". It takes knowing the steps and purposefully putting them in place, one at a time, until you are there.

I am going to finish strong. Are you?

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Yummys & Silliness

You would never believe that my one sister and I are 30 and 40 respectively. Not based on this silliness. What fun! I love that my girls joined in!! Wait till mom sees it, ROFL.

Well, I made the chick peas. I burned the chick peas, anyways. *gazes longingly into bowl*

Actually, even the burnt ones are pretty damn good! I put them in for 40 minutes at 375, shaking them every ten minutes or so. I spiced the bejeebers out of them, so we'll see how many I'm actually able to get in me tonight. I may be adding a glass of milk to my day!

I'll definately do them again, for a longer time on a lower temp. And without half the cayenne I used. *waves hand in front of mouth* Craziness!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Delicious Dinner & Chick Peas

My boy needed to eat early, because there is a school dance tonight. So I scrambled around the fridge looking for a throw together dinner.

This is what I came up with:

In fry pan:
- 2 cups chopped cabbage
- 1 chopped onion
- 1 stalk celery (chopped, are you suprised?)
- 5.5 ounces leftover pork loin chop
- a splash of water to steam the works
- a spoosh of jalapeno hot sauce
- a couple teaspoons soy sauce

In a dish off to the side, 1 cup of whole wheat couscous and 1 cup of hot water. Throw a plate on top of the bowl and let sit while frying the above mix.

When veggies were done to the point of "I wanna eat those bad boys NOW", in a bigger bowl I dumped and fluffed the couscous, sprinkled with curry powder, added more hot sauce, more soy sauce, and the fry pan. Stirred it up and YUM! Three big bowls of goodness, for 199 calories each. Sweet Georgia Brown!

Which brings me to Chick Peas. I have a ridiculous number of calories left for the day. Like 775, ridiculous. So I finally want to make the crunchy chick pea snack I've seen repeatedly on the WW site. But can I find the stupid recipe? NO.

I googled it, but all the ones I'm finding say that they turn out crunchy on the outside, and soft in the middle. Yuck. I want crunchy, pop in your mouth, dust dry chick peas. And I recall the recipe I want, because it said to slow cook them and turn the oven off and leave them in. But I don't know the temp, or for how long to cook, or for how long to leave. Grrr.

I will figure this out. I WILL eat chick pea crunchy goodness tonight. Oh yes I WILL!!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Me, I'm Awesome!

If you have ever wondered how people get to have a bizmillion or two followers, go and read over at Carrots 'N' Cake today. She's got a really cool book review on Blogging Heroes. Lots of good info in her post. One little nugget is to link to other blogs, so this is a dual purpose post. *wink*

Okay, now onto me... cuz it's ALL about me! Always!! Okay, only mostly...

I'm on day TEN of being on plan. Day TEN!!! How awesome am I???

I've planned my days meals (except dinner, but I know my caloric count for it, so I'm counting it *sticks out tongue*). And I'm planning a run on the treadmill with my new runners (thank you, Costco!!). I've made an appointment for it. I've put ME back on my schedule. NICE! (thank you, Oprah)

What have you done positive today?


Dee

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's another good OP day!

I am on day 9 of being completely OP. Which makes me wonder... what does OP mean to you?

For me, being On Plan means:

- staying within a reasonable range of calories
- tracking every bite that goes into my mouth
- planning my day of eating, rather than winging it (which ALWAYS makes me go off plan)
- being concious of my water intake
- being purposeful of my planned activities (if it's a rest day it's still OP as long as I planned it as a rest day)

It's when I don't plan my food for the day that I end up making choices that blow me out of the water. Like I'll go out and have something, come home and look it up, only to find it was fifteen bizmillion calories... then I'm all like "fuck it" for the rest of the day, and don't bother tracking. Definately off plan at that point, even if I make good decisions... when I have no idea where my calorie count is, and my head is firmly planted in the sand, I am off plan.

But not today!

Here's my eats today:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/3 cup almond breeze, 1 tbls PB2, 1/2 banana, 1 tbls chopped toasted almonds, milk & vitamin (310 calories)

Lu: 3 oz roast beast, 2 tbls asiago, 1/4 cup alfalfa sprouts, 4 black olives, 2 tbls green onion wrapped in a tortilla then grilled on the George Forman (378 calories)

Sn: 1/2 cup each of blueberries & pineapple, 1/3 cup ff vanilla yoghurt, 1/4 cup fibre1 cereal (164 calories)

Dn: 4oz pork tenderloin, marinated in 1 tablespoon basil parmesan vinegrette, & one cup leftover vegetarian chili (333 calories)

This is 1184 calories for the day.

Not sure if I'll be working out or not, today. I should get a run in. I haven't done that in a while. It depends on how much work I get done today. :o)

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Circuit Trained

Instead of the treadmill, I did a "Jillianesque" circuit training session for 40 minutes.



Dee

Yummy in my Tummy!

I... ATE... TOFU! And liked it!

I found a three pack of tofu in Costco for super cheap, so picked it up, figuring I'd find SOMETHING to do with it. I put one block through an egg slicer and fried it up in some oil with cumin and chili powder. Then I added a can of crushed tomatoes, a can of black beans, a can of white kidney beans, and a can of no salt added corn. Deeeeelish!! My family ate it, too! And liked it. And that was BEFORE being told what it was!

I'm having a higher calorie day today... kinda Wendi-esque. Still counting. Still OP, and still going strong! Today is day 8 of being on track, and tracking. Love it!

It's Biggest Loser niiiiight!! Woot!!

Here's a snapshot of my eats today:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup pineapple, 1/4 cup blueberries, 1/3 cup almond breeze, 1 tablespoon toasted almond slices (208 calories)

Lu: grilled wrap (1/3 cup mozza, 1/4 cup alfalfa sprouts, 3 oz roast beef), milk & vitamins (479 calories)

Sn: 1 cup pineapple, 1/2 cup fat free vanilla yogurt (127 calories)

Dn: 1 cup vegetarian chili, whole wheat english muffin w/ 1/2 tablespoon light mayo, 1 tablespoon asiago, & grilled portobello mushroom (405 calories)

Sn: 10 cups popcorn, 2 tablespoons margarine (509 calories)

That's 1728 calories for the day. A little high, but I'll be hopping on the treadmill soon to earn that there popcorn.

You'll notice that I have fat free vanilla yogurt up there, instead of my usual plain. I thought i would treat myself, since they were out of plain at the grocery store. YUCK! I'll go back and hope they have plain, so I can mix it. This shit is WAY too sweet. You can taste the processedness (it's a word now... HA), and I am SUCH a food snob!!

Dee

Fly by whine.

I hate being a woman today. Okay, it's WAY better than before my endometrial eblasion, but STILL. I slept in, I'm feeling very iron deficient today. I'm cold but I'm sweating.

Blah.

But my breakfast was good. Oatmeal, with almond breeze, toasted almonds, pineapple and blueberries.

More later. Had to whine.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ever Wonder if you eat TOO Healthy?

I'm plugging in my foods for the day, and I'm ticking back and forth, adding and deleting, balancing out, without actually looking, trying to figure in my head before going into the main food page and seeing where I'm at, in NutriMirror (see side panel for link -------> ). I get my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack in there, and before hitting one more thing I think "hmm, I better make sure I'm not over my calories first". I go to the page and look... I'm sitting at just over 800 calories.

Huh! Okay, time to add more food to my day. But where? I have a full meal plan INCLUDING snack! Anything more is just additive and filler! LOL

I adjusted it, and am still under my calorie count for the day, and now I'm having pizza instead of a plate of leftovers for lunch. Almost feels decadent!

Here's where I ended up:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup blueberries, 2 strawberries, 1/3 cup almond breeze, milk & vitamins (230 calories)

Lu: pita pizza made with leftovers (3oz roast beast, baked zucchini, brussel sprouts, onions, mushrooms and carrots, 1/3 cup mozza) (436 calories)

Sn: 1 cup pineapple, 1/2 cup ff plain yoghurt (143 calories)

Dn: roast beef wrap with portobello, black olives and sprouts, cheese string (273 calories)

That's 1083 for the day. I will probably need a snack when I get home at 8:00, so I might throw a banana and a glass of milk in there for another 194 calories.

I'm delivering tonight, so I need a portable dinner. That's why I decided to move my heavier meal to lunch.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Feel Good Moment

I was just showing my oldest, Doug, NutriMirror. We were giggling over how many calories sex burns (less than you'd think for all that sweating!!). As I'm showing him my goal weight and where I am at, he wraps his arms around me from behind, kisses me on the top of my head, and say "I'm so proud of you, mommy... so proud of you".

One of the things on my top ten reasons for losing weight, that I wrote back when I was starting this journey was "to be an inpiration of healthy choices for my family". I already felt that I was there, but he just solidified it, you know? That felt so incredibly good!

Dinner was wonderful. Doug, Logan, Steve and I. Just like old times. It was so cool. Doug brought some wine, so I had a glass. I also ended up picking at the leftover yorkshire pudding. So I came on and logged it... then decided I needed to work out to burn the calories.

So even though I went over, I'm now under again, because I fucken ROCK. YA I do!! I did a forty minute circuit training session, in front of my family as we all watched Russel Peters and Dane Cook specials taped from Christmas off the Comedy Network. Yep, I excercised in front of them, instead of sitting my ass on the couch because I was embarrassed. I just got up and DID IT. I'm so impressed with myself. :D

I refuse to sabotage this weekend. I have nailed it. For the first time in... ever. EVER. It is MINE. I OWN IT!!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Conquering the Weekend (one day at a time)

I'm doing it! I really am!!

I stayed OP all day yesterday, with my one planned indulgence of dessert. And I stuck with the apple cobbler ala mode, which I found a comparable one for under 800 calories, so I marked it as such. It only put me 179 calories over my alloted for the day. NICE!!!

Today I am planning my menu around dinner, which will be a little higher in calories. But I'm also planning a walk with my hubby and the dogs. It's a gorgeous sunny day, and we are going to suck up some vitamin D, and I'm going to earn my dinner!

Speaking of hubby... I started him taking vitamin B pills... and the difference in his happiness level is amazing! He's actually happy! He has been battling a low grade depression for the last year, and he finally allowed me to make him a cocktail of pills, because he's sick of it. So I have him on a multi, B-50, calcium, and glucosamine. And the difference in the spring in his step is incredible.

Today's eats:

Br: banana, 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1 cup almond breeze (unsweetened original), 2 strawberries, vitamins (223 calories)

Lu: pita pizza (tortilla, 1/3 cup skim mozza, portobello, black olives, canadian bacon) (325 calories)

Sn: 1 cup pineapple, 1/2 cup plain ff yoghurt (143 calories)

Dn: 4 oz roast beef, 1/4 cup mashed potato, 1 cup mashed turnip, .5 cup steamed broccoli, 1 yorkshire pudding, 1/4 cup gravy (547 calories)

Did you see the new thing in there? Almond breeze. I'm reading a ton about it online.

I'm not prepared to give up milk (this is a milk alternative to some people apparently), but I'm open to trying new things. I'll let you know how it is. Nutritionally, I'm impressed with it. Only 40 calories for an entire cup, no sugar, 20% calcium (skim milk is 30%), and only .3 of the 3g of fat are Saturday fats (damn that cute commercial, they will always be saturday fats to me now). Protein has milk as a no brainer. 9 to AB's 1 gram. So this will never replace milk, but it might be a fun tasty addition to my repetoire.

Okay, now I'm looking at my planned menu for today and I'm SUPER EXCITED!!! Look at all that fabulous yummy food!! And it's only 1238 calories for the ENTIRE day!

I tell ya, the secret to my being successful, if I had to narrow it down to just one? Planning. If I were to not plan my eats, I would be all over the map, scrambling to balance out. But this way, I eat my breakfast in front of the computer and plot the remaining eats for the day. And I'm always happy with my choices. I can adjust according to what nutrients I'm lacking, and it's not "fly by the seat of my pants". I'm in complete control at all times.

The only thing is I'm going to have to invest in some iron pills. Since the multi I'm taking isn't a women's formula, it is low on iron, and this day has me sitting at 52% of my recommended intake. That's not good, especially considering I have my period. I tend to lean more on the iron deficient side on a GOOD day. Just my blood type, or body type or whatever. I could never be a vegetarian. I'm such a meatavor... lol.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Musings and NSV

Weekends for me are notoriously bad, nutrition-wise. Actually, it's not so much WHAT is eaten as how much. Either way, I'm usually around 3000 calories a day (gee, why was I fat??).

I've worked really hard today to NOT do this. I will go over, because I'm going out for dessert tonight. But instead of running around the car slashing all the tires, I've planned my day out so that it's my only real indulgence.

My NSV today is that while out shopping, in between Costco and the grocery store, my soup for lunch wore off and I was HUNGRY. My sis suggested Subway, which I jumped on. But when we pulled into the complex, I parked right in front of a japanese restaurant. Sashimi!! Yay!! A healthy choice without the bread and fixings that I would have on my sub!!

Now if I only knew how many ounces I ate. I had nine pieces of salmon sashimi. Anyone know what that would equal to in ounces???

Here's my eats today:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup craisins, 1 tblsp PB2 w/chocolate ( 158 calories)

Lu: 1 piece dry squirrely toast, 1 cup blue menu winter squash soup, milk & vitamin (256 calories)

2nd Ln: 9 pieces salmon sashimi (240 calories?)

Dn: pita pizza (1 organic sprouted grain tortilla, 1/3 cup skim mozza, 4 slices canadian bacon, 1 oz shrimp, 2 mushrooms, 1 tablespoon onion, 5 black olives) (370 calories)

This puts me at 1024 for the day.

While I reeeeally want the sticky toffee pudding at White Spot, I think I'll go for the apple cinnamon crumble. It's probably the lesser of the evils. I can't find the NI online. I did find the Hot Fudge Brownie, and it's 1032 calories (shit, more than my whole day of eats today!!), and the Chocolate Passion Cake ala Mode, which is 1183. So the apple cinnamon crumble is most likely the lesser evil, wouldn't you think??

Tell me if you know differently, can ya??

Thanks for listening,

Dee

WI

Despite TOM, I am down one full pound this week!

I'll be back to blog later... *happy dance*

Friday, January 23, 2009

Is it bad that I want to try this?

Click on the title to see... and I'm apologizing now.

Just once!! Or maybe on Christmas...

Seriously... I cannot believe this even appeals to me still.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

I peeked...

For some reason, Friday mornings, I always peek at the scale. WI is tomorrow.

I'm expecting pretty much zero results this week, because TOM is imminent. I've done the best I can with damage control, fighting the PMS hungries (seriously hungries, not munchies), working out, and doing the best I can to counteract my wings on Saturday and my chips and chocolate on Sunday. I've been a healthy machine since then, despite wanting to curl up, cry, feel incredibly sad, and eat popcorn until I explode.

And the scale this morning? Down a smidge, actually... so maybe a bit of a loss tomorrow anyways. That would be a nice reward, wouldn't it?

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Thursday, January 22, 2009

PMS Hungries

Oh man... I'm struggling.

I just did 30 minutes of circuit training. I will WIN, dammit.




*whimper*

It's a Day!

Yup yup it is... things got a little hairy, emotionally, today... but I won. I did not indulge in the chocolate bar I have stashed for emergencys (yes, I have chocolate emergencys). I had a sweet cup of tea, instead, and then went for a run outside to sort my thoughts.

It's been a long time since I ran outside... especially in the -1!! Hurts the lungs, that does! But it did remind me how much I prefer it to the treadmill. Sooo much better. Still too cold to do that every day, though, so treadmill it is.

Today's eats:

Br: 1 mini bagel, halved and toasted. 1/4 cup egg white, divided, with green onion and asiago cheese.

Sn: cuppa tea with sploosh of skim

Lu: same as yesterday, soup and sandwich

Sn: cup and a half of fruit salad (pineapple, pear, strawberry, asiago)

Dn: leftover cacciatore, steamed broccoli, salsbury buffalo steak.

I'm under 1400 calories.

Last night I gave in to temptation and made fat free vanilla pudding. I was going to eat the whole thing, but then offered hubby half, which he accepted. I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not. I'm pms-ing, which means I am HUNGRY. Not just crave-y, but actually hungry. I went to bed at nine because my stomach was growling and it was either bed or kitchen. But I didn't fall asleep until ten thirty because my tummy was actually paining me it was so hungry. But I knew that if I stepped one foot in that kitchen, it was game over.

Wish me strength for tonight...

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

THIS time it's pasta!!

For you new followers, last time I craved pasta, I ended up making chili... which was good, but pissed me off because I wanted spaghetti!

This time, I was smarter... ha HA!!

I made a healthy chicken cacciatore (Italians, turn away, you will not appreciate me using your dish name for this, I'm sure).

I cooked up some whole wheat spaghettini. In a pot I put a can of diced tomatoes, garlic, and oregano. Meanwhile in a frypan, I sauteed onions, zucchini, mushrooms, carrots and celery until mostly tender. And while those where sauteeing, I finely chopped a chicken breast.

I plopped the veggies into the tomatoes, and used the pan to quick fry the chicken. Then I threw the whole works into a roaster, stirred it up and threw it in the oven where it is now bubbling away nicely.

AND the whole dinner is under 400 calories!! Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP!!!!

Here's today's eats:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup pineapple, 2 strawberries, 1 tablespoon PB2, milk & vitamin

Lu: same soup and sandwich I've had all week, only this time I sliced a dill pickle on it, added a teaspoon of light mayo, and toasted the bread. WAY better, and that despite the fact that it was good already!

Sn: would you believe I forgot to eat?

Appy: 1/4 cup pineapple (cuz otherwise I'll binge until dinner is ready in 45 minutes)

Dn: aforementioned chicken cacciatore

That's 1173 calories for the day!

And, today I did 5k in 42 minutes on the treadmill. Blue happy star for me!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Rock!

Okay, that's TWICE today that I've made something and impressed the HELL out of myself.

Dinner: quick fried boneless pork loin chops, just to brown them. Then I put them on a pan and smothered them each in two tablespoons salsa, and two tablespoons asiago cheese, then baked them in the oven for twenty minutes.

They seriously taste like a restaurant dish.

DAMN I'm good!!

Dee

I had the BEST snack...

Although my sister wouldn't agree... lol.

I bought a fresh pineapple and chopped it up yesterday. So for snack today I had decided on fruit salad. I put in a cup of pineapple, three strawberries, 1/2 a pear, 1/2 cup yoghurt, and (Sam, avert your eyes) 2 tablespoons romano cheese. YUM!!!

Did ya'll watch the inaugaration this morning? I did a workout while watching it. A variation of Shredding. I did weights and cardio in one minute intervals for 30 minutes while I watched them get sworn in and then Obama's speech. It was awesome, on so many levels!!

I also went for a walk in the sunshine today to pick up my neice. Heaven! Having the sun on my face... Oh, I missed that! I don't suffer from s.a.d., luckily, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy when I feel the sun!

Biggest Loser tonight, don't forget! LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

Today's Fuel:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup pineapple, 2 strawberries, milk & vitamins

Lu: chicken sandwich (2 slices squirrely bread, 2oz chicken breast, good sploot of spicy mustard, three big slices of tomato and a handful of sprouts) & one cup of pea soup

Sn: see above for fruit salad goodness (Sam, uncurl your nose)

Dn: pork loin chops covered in salsa, roasted beets, & leftover sweet potato

Sn: Popcorn!!

I read a really profound post over on Escape from Obesity. If you aren't following this woman's blog, you are seriously missing out. Maybe it's just me, but she speaks to me. She articulates my innermost feelings in a way that I just am not capable of. And she speaks of things that blow my mind, because I could have written them. Today's post about accusations is a great example. For me it was another example of "you did not go through that as the only person in the world living in hell, there are others that 'get' you".

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Monday, January 19, 2009

Presents Posterior for Commencment of Kicking

Seriously... like I don't know better???

"I just have to be good on the weekends!" Who the hell am I kidding??? I suck at weekends. And I know I'm doing it, and I do it ANYWAYS!!!.

Saturday: I know I'm going for wings. Do I choose to eat healthy for the other meals of the day? Hell no! I run around the car slashing all the tires. Breakfast was a half cup of apple cinnamon cherrios, lunch was a double cheeseburger from McDonalds. Add a Starbucks coffee for snack, and then pile 15 wings and an order of fries on top, and you've got Saturday.

Sunday I decided that I was definately going to clean up my act. So for breakfast I eat a bowl of oatmeal, tricked out with prunes and craisins. Great start! I go out shopping and pick up all my veggies and fruits for the week and realize on the way home that I need lunch... STAT. I decide to stop at Subway for a healthier option. Good choice, right? Except they have 2 footlongs for 9.99. So I decide to get one for Steve. And for some reason, I decide to get a stripe of light mayo on mine. AND cheese! I havent' done that in over a year! And then? Do I only eat half of it? Hell no! I ate the whole damn thing!!

And did I stop there?? Nope. I purposefully walked up to the store and bought me a bag of baked Lays. And two chocolate bars. I ate the EatMore on the way home, and the dark chocolate burnt almond whatever it was AFTER polishing off the entire bag of chips.... which I scarfed AFTER having dinner, which was homeade pea soup (very few calories so an excellent choice in a sea of yuck).

Why?????

Then, I set my alarm for 6:20. Gonna get up and Shred. Except that it went off, and I switched it to 7:20 and decided to shred later. Sigh. I'm so not a morning person. The best intentions never work for me in the mornings.

My fuel today?

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal w/ three strawberries & two chopped prunes, milk & vitamin.

Lu: 1/2 squirrely bread sandwich with chicken breast, tomato & sprouts & a cup of pea soup

Sn: pear

Dn: stir fry with beef, broccoli, cauliflower, celery, yellow pepper, mushrooms, snow peas.

I will get on that treadmill today and do interval training. And I will shred. I owe it to myself.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Sunday, January 18, 2009

*YAAAAWN*

Happy Lazy Sunday... well, not quite. I didn't get to do my shopping yesterday so I'll do that today. Gotta stock up on all my veggies and fruits, and plan my weeks meals. THEN I'll be lazy. Although, it's a beautiful day, and the dogs would probably REEEEally appreciate a walk. THEN I'll be lazy. Yeah, that's it.

I way over indulged last night on wings and fries. Whoodaddy, lemme tell ya! But was it worth it? Absolutely!

Today I will eat nothing but healthy foods, in normal portions.

Okay, seriously yawning here... I may just go back to bed!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Exciting Day Ahead!

Hubby and I are heading out to the Taboo Sex Show this afternoon with a bunch of couples. I'm totally looking forward to it.

I had one of those crappyass sleeps last night where you keep looking at the clock and don't feel like you slept at ALL. I used all my tools, counting backwards from 300 by 3's, singing O'Canada over and over... nothing was working. I will definately need an extra jolt of coffee today to keep me going. I definately see Starbucks in my future!

Mmmm, Grande Skinny Caramel Cafe Misto Extra Hot (decaf most of the time, but not today). Only 55 calories!!

Well, I weighed in this morning, and it wasn't great. I'm up from last week, but down from two weeks ago, which means I'm reporting a loss of 2.4 for the A-Team!

Food may not be the best today, but I will be doing a loooot of walking, so it will offset. I will strive to make healthier choices, and eat until satisfied.

That's one of my biggest struggles, is listening to my body. I have actually found myself with a quarter of a plate of food in front of me when I hear the sigh and KNOW I should be done, yet my hand goes into mock speed and shovels the rest in before my brain can yells stop. How insane is that????

Anyways, have a great day, everyone!!

Dee

Friday, January 16, 2009

Total Happy Food Dance

I woke up later this morning, and wasn't feeling breakfast, so I just had an apple, a light cheese string, and my milk and vitamins. Needless to say, lunchtime came and I'm ravenous. So into the kitchen I go to pick over my meager offerings. I have to go grocery shopping!! But I love what I came out with...

4oz salmon fillet, a cup of leftover roast sweet potatoes, and a 1/2 cup of spinach, steamed in apple cider vinager. YUMMM!!!

Tonight for dinner I'll be having my usual Friday McDonald's drive thru while delivering chinese food around town. I'm under calories, but I'm not moving much... stupid cold.

It's not that it's even a bad cold, but I just don't want it to be. So I'm laying low until it passes. Just doing light activities and getting lots of rest and vitamin C.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Huh... Weird

So, I'm in NutriMirror, planning out my food for the day. I plug it all in... this is what I have so far:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/8 cup prunes (shut up, I like em), and a tablespoon of PB2, 1 cup milk with vitamins

Lu: whole flax bagel (I usually eat half), 1/4 cup egg white, with ketchup & a cup of carrots

Dn: chicken breast, a cup of sweet potato, and a cup of mashed turnip

I'm thinking at this point that I better be sure I'm not over my caloric intake before adding a snack in the afternoon, so I click to the food log page... I'm only at 891 calories! What??? I have a TON of food listed here!

Eating the foods to fuel the body really is the way to go! If I were to throw in any processed stuff, it would add up incredibly quickly. As it is, I can have a big heaping bowl of yoghurt with fruit and PB2 for a snack, and still be way under my caloric budget. In fact, that puts me at... 1084.

Sooo, not sure what's going on with the scale. It read 153 this morning, which is WAY up. And TOM isn't due until next week. But I have been weight lifting a little bit, and did Shred twice. Maybe it's muscle gain.

The only reason I'm even stressing about it a little bit is because of the BLBE. I want to show a good loss for the team. But I just need to keep in mind that it will all work out in the end, as the scale reflects my hard work. I forget sometimes that the results don't show right away.

Plus, my body is doing it's best to fight off a cold... ah, you know what? That's it. I always show a gain when my sinus' are clogged. It's amazing to me how much snot weighs. I haven't got a full boar cold, but it's trying! I'm drinking hot water with lemon all day for the vitamin C. Hell, even if I do get the cold, at least I don't have to worry about scurvy!!

Fear not, A-Team! Even if my WI is higher this week, I shall prevail!!

Dee

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Hot Potato!

Holy MAN, was my dinner good!

I had a huge yam/sweet potato thingy. I chopped it into big chunks, sprayed it with olive oil, then lightly seasoned it with cayenne, curry & seasoning salt (I mean very very lightly seasoned), then baked it in the oven for an hour at 400. It's like candy!

Dee

Wednesday Musings

It's a good day, today. No particular reason... just feeling happy.

My fuel today:

Br: 1/2 flax Silver Hills bagel, 1/4 cup egg white, 1 oz brocslaw, 1 tablespoon romano
Lu: 2 cups Blue Menu Winter Squash soup, 10 Blue Menu Ancient Grain crackers, tiny tin of Thai chili tuna
Dn: Baked sweet potato, chicken breast, spinach salad

Light on the food because I'm taking a rest from working out today.

Boring post, today, huh?

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Biggest Loser Night

♪ What have you done today to make you feeeel proud? ♪

I love Tuesday! I love that I cannot face Jillian and Bob without having done SOMETHING to earn a blue smiley star! I love that it is family night, and something that Logan, Steve and I bond over. I love that it gives us incentive to live healthier lives by education us on how unhealthy fat is.

Today I shredded, and then did 1.5 miles on the treadmill, in a walk/run pattern. STAR!!

My food today:

Br: 1/2 Silver Hills Flax Bagel w/ 1/4 cup egg white & onion. The Silver Hills bagels are like air. Not like a regular bagel at all. I like em.

Lu: Leftover Italian Meatloaf, rice & beets (why don't I make beets more often? even LOGAN liked them!!)

Sn: Missed it... that's okay, I'll make up for it with popcorn tonight

Dn: BBQ Pork Loin on spinach salad with craisins, shredded Romano, turnip, chopped prunes & Mediterranean vinaigrette.

Sn: POPCORN!!!

I feel good today. I feel strong. I feel committed. I'm not wigging out that the scale was not nice to me this morning. I don't know why I step on the damn thing mid week anyways... it always goes up before it comes down on Saturday.

Okay, I got nuttin else to say... I'll go now. :o)

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Monday, January 12, 2009

Monday Again!

I'm looking in my fridge this morning, and I notice the bag o' lemons I still have in there, and I'm thinking "what the hell am I going to do with a bag of lemons". So I sliced one and threw a big chunk into a mug and have been topping it up with hot water all day. Holy Jeebers, how come I don't do this all the time? It's fabulous!!

I had a good day today, although I'm still sore from head banging at the bar on Saturday, and Shredding with Jillian Saturday morning still has my quads stiff. But I still jumped on that treadmill and did two miles in thirty minutes. Blue happy face star for me!

My food today? Only super yum!

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/4 cup prunes chopped into it, 1/8 cup pom seeds, vanilla and coconut extract

Lu: actually I was feeling snacky at 11 so I ate 1/2 cup of leftover chili (stupid chili) thinking I'd eat lunch later... which I forgot to do. I guess the chili was more filling than I thought. I didn't get hungry again till three so I made my snack...

Sn: 1/2 cup ff plain yoghurt, chopped apple, 1 tablespoon PB2 reconstituted runny. omg YUM!

Dn: I thought I had bought mild Italian Sausage meat. Nope, it was hot. So I'm REALLY glad I mixed it with the buffalo!! Two little meatloafs, 1/4 cup rice, roasted beets (so good) and a spoon of gravy.

Okay, that's all I have to say today. Nothing new or enlightening... just accountability.

Oh, one thing I thought was cool... Steve says to me, "did you overhear the news when they were talking about dieting?" I asked what they said. His response, "the same thing you always say". LOL... I asked if there was any new and exciting revelations. Nope. I think he was impressed with me.

Ya'll have a GREAT night,

Dee

Sunday, January 11, 2009

All in all, not a sabotage weekend!

I made a vow to be better on the weekends. And I think I did pretty damn good this weekend. I had some indulgences, but I also got a ton of excercise, and according to my stats on Nutrimirror, I burned more than I ate. GO ME!!

I took my son for Chinese, and then had a healthy portion of lasagna with a piece of garlic bread for dinner. Both high calorie meals, potentially. Well, lunch definately was, but dinner I ate salad instead of the second huge honkin piece of lasagna that I wanted. And I only took one half slice of garlic bread.

Then we went dancing. And I daaaaanced! It was three hours of high aerobic dance. So awesome!! I could do that every night, I swear. And I didn't drink into oblivion, but I did have four jeagerbombs (sp?) which is jeagermeister (sp?) and red bull shots. Wicked good, and keeps your heart rate up, lemme tell ya!! Other than that, I drank water all night. Happy dance!!

Today was couch surfing all day. Literally all day... lol. Tomorrow, back on the treadmill!

Another successful week coming up, with the first official weigh in for the Biggest Loser Blog Edition. So stoked!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Saturday, January 10, 2009

WI & LOLOLOLOL

Okay, first off, I'm down 3lbs this week, which means my WI for the BLBE next week will be FABULOUS!!!! I'm down to 149.8lbs.

Second, the LOLOLOL is because my son Logan (15) and his friend Connor decided they wanted to do Jillian's 30 Day Shred. You shoulda seen the sweat. ROFL But they did it, and I'm totally proud of them for it. I know how tough it is.

Okay, I'm off to VV Boutique to see if I can find a bar shirt for tonight, then to do a bit of grocery shopping. Fun fun fun!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Saturday Morning

Why is it that ANY other morning, I could sleep till ten, easily. But Saturdays I'm wide awake at seven???

I forced myself back to sleep (counting backwards from 300 by 3s) and am bright eyed and bushytailed by 8:15. Pfft!

I'm sooooo looking forward to tonight. I'm going DANCING!! And I'm not drinking, so it's all calories burned, baby!! Although I'll make sure and have a good dinner to have the energy to burn. We are doing a potluck at my house for one of my girl's' husband. I'm so stoked...

I indulged in a treat last night... oh yes I did! A banana cream pie blizzard. I went for my usual dinner for Friday nights, which is two chicken fajitas and a fruit & yohurt parfait at McDonald's. Only they were out of the yoghurt. GRRR, I hate the McDonald's on 228th. They are ALWAYS out of stuff!!! Time for a passive-aggressive letter attack. Anyways, I'm driving around and I'm wanting my dessert. Then I started thinking about my calorie count for the day and realize I have a few hundred to burn if I want. And I've been excellent this week. So I decided to treat myself. Oh MAN was it yummy. And I only strayed a couple of hundred calories over budget. Totally worth it last night.

It's WI today, but of course I'm waiting on my digestive system to "move". I'll report back later!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Don'tcha Hate That??

When you go to make one dish and it turns into another?

I've been craving pasta lately, so I went out and bought some whole wheat spaghattini. Last time I had canned sauce, it left a lot to be desired. It was really yucky and processed tasting. Yes, I've turned into a food snob, I'll admit it. LOL

So I decided to make a sauce. Here's what I put in:

1 lb lean ground pork (cooked then rinsed)
1 can kidney beans
1 can diced tomatoes
1 half can tomato paste
1 can mushrooms, drained
3 stalks celery
1 onion
cumin
oregano
basil
garlic

Looks good, right? Yeah... except it's CHILI. I mean, sure I could serve it over sketti noodles, but come on... really??? grumble mumble stoopid chili grumble.

Okay, so here is today's nutrition:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal and 1/4 pom (vanilla and coconut extract added), milk & vitamins

Lu: spinach salad (2oz spinach, 1oz brocslaw, 2 tablespoons pom seeds, 1 tablespoon shredded romano, 1 tablespoon Mediterranian Balsamic Vinegrette, 1oz rutabaga, 2 oz ham)

Sn: 1/4 pom, 1/2 cup plain ff yoghurt, slice of blueberry flax seed bread (no butter), 1/4 cup prunes

Dn: Chili (pfffffft)

I did an hour on the treadmill. I've started doing this thing I read about it Women's Fitness. Instead of just walking, or just running, or even the walk run intervals from the Sun Run Training, I'm doing this thing where I walk for two minutes, then RUN LIKE FUCK for 30 seconds. Back to walk for two or more minutes then RUN LIKE FUCK for 40 seconds, then do it all over again. It raises my heartrate in bursts and is supposed to be better for weight loss. If anyone knows about this, throw me a comment... I could be completely off my rocker.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Tee Hee!

Rob Cooper actually said "I saw your blog and your before picture. Holy shit! Well done, Jo Dee (Will Succeed)"... to ME!!!!

I've been following his site for almost a year, I think. He's such an inspiration, and FULL of useful stuff!!

Blushing excitedly,
Dee

Biggest Loser tonight!

I had pretty much decided to take a rest day, but then I realized that it's Biggest Loser tonight. Well, anyone that knows me knows that I cannot sing that song (what have you done today to make you feel proud) if I haven't done anything! And staying on plan doesn't cut it! I need to make the trainers PROUD.

So, that being said (god i'm a geek), I did an hour on the treadmill while watching Oprah. This could be my new "thing". Especially this week, since it's the Best Life series. I love how open and honest she's being about her weight issues. Normally I hate daytime television, but this I could get used to. I find it inspiring.

I also did 15 minutes of weights. I so rock... yeah, I do!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

WHOOOFREAKINHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

♪♪ It came, it came, it came!!! ♪♪

I am the proud owner of PB2!!!

I ran straight into the kitchen and whipped up a bit of each, the PB2 and the Chocolate PB2. The one without chocolate is by far my favourite, but holy CRAP are these good!!! Seriously the best peanut butter evs. Maybe because my taste buds don't really like fat anymore, and this being over 85% fat free, but full of the peanutty good flavour... well, I could go on forever!!

The only kinda crappy thing was that one of the jars had the safety seal detached. But I've emailed them in hopes that they will replace it.

I seriously need to find a supplier out here for this stuff. I'm going to take it to a couple of the stores here and get them to try it and order it in. I'm willing to sacrifice some of my precious to ensure future buying power.

Magda, you absolutely made my millenium, ordering this for me for Christmas. THANK YOU!!!!!

Okay, rave over... now onto today's menu plan:

Br: 1/3 cup oatmeal, glass of milk w/ vitamins
Lu: salmon fillet on spinach salad (spinach, brocslaw, romano cheese, craisins, balsamic dressing, lemon pepper)
Sn: 1/2 pear and PB2(!!!!!!)
Dn: Ham Pasta
Sn: Popcorn while watching Biggest Loser(!!!!)

The ham pasta is consisting of:

12oz ham (leftover from the other night)
2 cup broccoli
1 cup cauliflower
1 can corn
1 onion
1 cup Gemelli Pasta, Whole Wheat
envelope of pesto sauce, made with water

This will make four servings, so I can have some for lunch tomorrow.

I'm kinda sore from yesterday, so I'm not sure if I will be working out today. I've got three for three smiley faces so far this week. (yes, smiley faced stars to show my workouts... geek)

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Monday, January 5, 2009

Weekends = Sabotage

This weekend I am not sabotaging myself. Nope. Not doing it. I am setting a precedent!!

I WILL EAT WITHIN MY CALORIC BUDGET.

Okay, I will maybe allow myself ONE meal over the top, but not the entire weekend, like I usually do.

Someone mentioned on WW that we should keep tabs on each other on the weekend, and I actually heard the "ping" when the lightbulb went off. Oh sure, I know I've been doing it to myself all along. I'm aware of it. I've just not been AWARE of it. (trust me, that makes sense in my own head)

Side note update:

I did not Shred. But I did spend 40 minutes on the treadmill killing 488 calories, and then did ten minutes of weights while watching Oprah spill her guts about her weight issues. Enlightening I tell ya. I'd hate to struggle in front of national television.

Okay, gotta go make dinner now!

Dee

Happy Monday!

Can you believe it's a snow day today? Poor Logan got up an hour early to shower and get ready for school, he was so excited to go. Luckily I turned on the news, only to discover that there is no school today for students. Teachers still have to come in though... what's up with that???

I had a ROUGH sleep last night. The last time I looked at the clock was 4:35. Needless to say, when the alarm went of at 6:15 so I could get up to Shred, my first reaction was "fuck that" and I slapped it into silence. I figured I could grab an hour sleep before getting up to feed the boy and make his lunch (yes, he's old enough to do it himself, but a) I like doing it and b) I don't trust him to make something nutritious). Then I hear him in the shower and realize I have to get up anyways and I don't have time to Shred! CRAP on a CRACKER!!

I will Shred later, I promise. I committed to doing it on the Just For Today thread on WW, so I have to.

Okay, here is today's food plan:

Br: oatmeal, 1/2 banana & almond butter (PB2 should be coming ANY day, woot!!)
Lu: ham spinach salad
Sn: 1/2 flax bagel with jam and a pear on it
Dn: pork loin, veggie smash, spinach salad


Thanks for listening,

Dee

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Reporting for Duty!!

It's been a great day, health-wise, today.

I ate well:

Br: oatmeal, banana & almond butter, milk & vitamins
Lu: pear, orange, smoked oysters (okay, more like a snack, since I ate breaky at noon)
Dn: roast pig, veggie smash (potato, cauliflower & rutabaga) & spinach salad

Calories in: 1262

Exercise: I did a 30 minute walk on the treadmill, for 200 calories. I did an hour yesterday and my muscles were sore, so I just wanted to stretch it out a little. Plus I wanted to earn a star on my calendar (I give myself a star for every day that I do 30 minutes of excercise).

I have tomorrow all planned out, to. It's going to start with being shredded by Jillian first thing in the morning. I'm hauling my butt outta bed and gettin er done. Then I have my meals planned out for the day, which I'll post tomorrow after I tweak it into NutriMirror. That's the only downfall to that program is that you can't jump ahead and plan your day.

I'm stoked to be feeling so back in control.

Oh, whoops... one confession. I ate the fat off the pig I roasted. I made crunchies with the skin and ate a bunch of it. But I tracked it, and had the calories to spare for it (that's included in my calorie count for the day!), so it's technically not going offtrack. But I figure I better get used to fessin up, what with the BLBE.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Heavy Thoughts

My son's grandfather, my ex FIL, is in hospital tonight, and the next 48 hours are critical. Basically a deathwatch, with a 48 hour hope. Sigh.

He went in for a heart attack, and they have everything to do with that under control. It's the detoxing from alcohol and smoking that is killing him. Literally. He's dying because his lungs are expelling all the gunk that has built up over the last 50 years from smoking, but his body isn't expelling it quick enough and he's choking on it. They have a breathing tube in him, because he's failing.

If you smoke, quit now, while you can. Quit before you get to a place where the quitting kills you.

Both of my sons smoke. So does my husband. They choose death.

I reject it.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

I have a new friend!

Her name is Marisa. I've been following her blog, and have now forced her via peer pressure to take part in the Biggest Loser Blog Challenge.

I'm calling her my friend (no, I'm not a crazy stalker lady), because I feel like I totally relate to her. She wrote, with her commenting back and forth with me, all of MY fears when waffling about whether or not to do the challenge.

The fear of failure. The fear of holding the team back. The fear of fear.

But what we were doing was giving ourselves permission to fail. And I've done that way to often in my life to want to keep doing it! I've worked really really hard to take two words out of my vocabulary. Try and Hope. I don't Try to do things. I either do them or I don't. I don't Hope things will work out. I make them work out, or I don't. By Trying or Hoping, I give myself permission to fail.

I've lost 60 pounds on this journey. And I have to tell you... not ONCE did I try or hope ANYTHING. I either did it, or didn't. I had weeks of gain. I had more of loss. But I took ownership of everything. No excuses, just reasons.

I need a kick in the ass. I've become complacent with my loss, because I'm so much happier with my body today. But then I look around and I see all the signs out there of what my body weight SHOULD be at. I'm still technically overweight. I still have belly fat (the most dangerous fat to have). I still am in higher clothing sizes (8/10).

I know it's not bad... but I also know it could be better. I know I look great. I could look AMAZING. It's time to take my head out of the sand (or out of my ass, whatever) and get back to moving on.

So, for the next 16 weeks, I'm HARDCORE, baby! Me and Marisa!! We are going to work out and eat properly. We are going to commit to this challenge and we are going to lose the weight!

Why? Because WE ARE WORTH IT!!!!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Great workout!

I just spent 75 minutes on my treadmill. YAY ME!!!!!

I still feel all yucky and bloated from Doug's breakfast, though, so I'm contemplating skipping dinner. Although on NutriMirror, the fibre is bright red, screaming in protest... lol.

Maybe I'll just wait it out. If I get hungry later I'll have a snack. Or should I eat some fibre now, to encourage the potatoe/carb/slop through my system?? On the one hand you read that you should not eat if you are not hungry. But then you read that you need to fuel your body every three to four hours, whether you are hungry or not to break the bad eating cycles.

Oh, to have a nutritionist on speeddial... sigh.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

EEEK, I did it!!

I signed up for the Biggest Loser Blog Edition - Season 2!! Deadline is tomorrow, if you want in. YOU WANT IN!!!

Come on, folks. We can totally do this thing! I'm committing to get down to 130lbs in the sixteen weeks. I'm starting at 152.8 (hangs head in shame).

I need me a kick in the ass, and this is going to be it. I'm going to be on a team, and I cannot let them down. Nope, not me. Can't do it. I've given my word, and now I'm going to give it my all.

*pant pant pant*

Okay, so I'm freaking out a lil bit. But I'm excited, too.

TODAY is the fattest day of the rest of my life. Yup, yup it is!! (thanks to Lyn from Escape from Obesity for that saying!!)

And now for a makeout session with my treadmill. Oooof. I just came back from breakfast with my son. He made open faced bagel sandwich. A white bagel covered with deli fajita chicken, scrambled egg & monteray jack cheese. On the side was a sausage, which I convinced him to boil first to get rid of the grease THEN brown in the oven. The hashbrowns?? Oh lord... baked in the oven, but he did a creamy garlicy cheese thing, with low fat sour cream (although why bother with the low fat at this point), an entire brick of grated havarti and a couple spoonfuls of minced garlic. Mix glop together, add potatoes and serve. My bowels are in knots right now.

Tonight for dinner: nutrition with a side order of nutrition!! Yes, spinach salad is on my horizon. After a couple of hours of walking on the treadmill. Or an hour of walk/run. I don't know... we'll see how long my body lasts. It isn't used to moving anymore.

Wish me luck...

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Friday, January 2, 2009

Check this out!

I think I'm going to sign up. Fifteen minutes a day to get out of chaos. I can do that!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

80/20

I keep reading that to lose weight it's 80% diet, 20% excercise. That's good, because I'm not feeling the excercise.

I'm sure it's because my hubby is on vacation, and my routines are all scrambled. Come Monday, I'm back on the bandwagon with flags raised. I'm soooo looking forward to my routines! Logan even came to me yesterday (he's my 15 year old) and said he really misses healthy foods. Not that I haven't been making them... he's been at his dad's for meals.

My biggest thing that I have to get back under control is supersizing. Portion control. Eating until only SATISFIED and being okay with leaving food on my plate. I still have problems with that, having come from a "clean your plate" background. Starving children in Africa and all that. (to which my response was always thinking "put it in an envelope and send it to them, then, because I don't want it!")

So, back to smaller plates. Measuring. Healthy portions. 50-60% vegetables on the plate. No butter. No salt. No late night snacking. No popcorn binges. Meal planning. Soups. Salads. Oatmeal. CLEAN EATING!!

It sounds awesome! And I know that once I'm back doing it, I'll fall right into place with everything.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Thursday, January 1, 2009

How's THIS for perspective??

Today can be the fattest day for the rest of your life.

I just read that on the blog Escape from Obesity. Holy Banana Feathers, that slapped me upside the head!!