I'm going to make it... if it KILLS me!

*gnashes teeth*

I'm going through an emotional crisis, but it's not mine to share, so I can't tell you what it is. Suffice it to say, I'm fairly devestated, but I have to buck up and get over it, which I will, just not today. Although it's killing me because I can't even cry because I don't have a safe place to do so. I want to burst into tears and ugly sob in the worst way. But my husband doesn't know what's going on, and I don't want to tell him. I also don't want to stress him out by being hysterical in front of him and then not telling him why. I could go out to the car and ugly cry, but I have to go shopping. I am NOT hitting the stores with a puffy blotchy face. Knowing my luck I'd run into my cutest ex. Gah. NOT happening. Tomorrow I have to face this head on, with not having been able to get my emotions out, and pretend like everything is hunkydory. I am not looking forward to it. I may win an Oscar. I have to do my best anyways.

So I'm facing that today, which for some stupid reason makes me want to eat chips. Why? *shakes head*

THEN all of a sudden, I remember that I have to do a White Spot mystery shop, an today is the last day I can do it. SHIT. I'm on day 12 of being OP, and I refuse to fuck this up. I have already got a plan for tomorrow's chili cheese dog day, so thought I was over the hump. HA!

Okay, hop online and check out the menu... done. I mapped out what I am having, and have planned the rest of the days eats around it, while getting all my nutritional elements in. Damn, I'm good. *shakes head again*

THIS, my friends, is a classic example of "failing to plan is planning to fail". Today could go completely sideways if I let it. And I mean completely. But the fact that I'm on such a winning streak... it is keeping me motivated like nothing else has. I will own this weekend, just like I did last weekend. I will win, because I am worth it!

Oh, and I weighed in today. Down another 1.4lbs, to 148.0lbs. I'm really happy with that. Slow and steady wins the race... or the journey, in this case. I'm not on a race. I am losing weight in a slow steady manner that ensures that I am statistically speaking, going to keep it off. Yup yup I am.

*deep sigh*

I want to be sad today, but I have to put on my happy sunshine face. Some things just suck.

Wish me luck...

Thanks for listening,

Dee