If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Letter

This is the letter I will leave in the mailbox, along with this picture, if he is not home.


Funny, I don’t know what to call you? Should I call you Larry? Or dad?

I know this seems completely out of the blue. The reason is that I just learned last night about Lorraine’s passing. It came as quite a shock to me. Unfortunate circumstances kept me from receiving the message.

I trust that this letter finds you well. I had hoped to actually see you, and maybe sit down for a coffee and find out how you are doing. It must be hard, being alone in the house after so many years of marriage and companionship.

I have no expectations of a relationship. It has been too many years, with too much water under the bridge to expect that. I think what I had hoped for was for you to have the knowledge that I turned out well. That my life is fantastic, and in large part because of the upbringing I had, both the good and the not so good.

I am married to a wonderful man. You met him at Aunty Elsie’s that time. Steve works for the Vancouver School Board. He’s the locksmith for East Vancouver. My children are 22 and 15. Doug lives in Chilliwack, and is currently managing an apartment building with his cousin. Logan is 15, in grade 10, and is in the process of deciding what kind of engineer he wants to be. Yesterday he came home to show me the requirements for Environmental Engineering. His Uncle Tony (Doug’s father’s twin brother) is an EE, so he will be having a long chat with him at the family Christmas gathering.

I have a wonderful extended family. I found my birth mother ten years ago. We are an amazing success story of love and genetics. I am exactly like her, which is wonderful, because she is an amazing woman that I respect and admire. I have a biological half sister, Magda, who teaches kindergarten in Taipei and has become a very dear friend and sister to me. I have a chosen sister, Sam, who is my best friend. Her mom took me under her wing back when I was 17. She was a mom to me right up until she died 11 years ago. I also have a chosen brother, Rob. He has cerebral palsy, and doesn’t let his handicap get in the way of the life he wants to lead. I have never sought out my biological father.

Anyways, I think I’ve rambled enough. I just wanted you to know that I’ve been okay. More than okay. I always thought in the back of my mind that despite everything, you cared. I didn’t want there to be any regrets on either side.

You are welcome to telephone me, if you would like to get together to have that coffee I mentioned. (phone number here).

Warmest regards,


EricaAnn said...

Wow! Courage my friend!! You are amazing and I love you!! xoxoxoxo I tried to call but there was no answer!! I hope you do call soon!

Phoenixrising said...

Dee, I'm sending all my positive thoughts, moral support, encouragement, and prayers to you today honey! What an incredibly brave thing for you to do... I'll be checking in here later to see what the outcome was...

Luv ya!