Wicked ab workout: I sit at my computer all day, so I sit on an excercise ball. Whomever said that this is good for your back has probably never sat on one, because slouching on it is incredibly easy. But for the last three days I've been having fun on it. I lift my feet off the ground and straddle the ball like a horse, gripping it with my knees and using my abs to hold myself steady. Seriously, my abs feel like I've done 50 million situps and crunches. Top to bottom, too, including my obliques. The act of balancing is a plus ten on the ab workout scale.
Which brings me to "is this normal?". Ever since I hit 40 I'm obsessed with death and dying. I woke up this morning to sore abs, and my first thought was "wouldn't it be awful if that was abdominal or organ cancer and I was actually dying from it, thinking it was an ab workout related pain".
WTF??? Who THINKS those things???
I watched Susan Sommers on Oprah yesterday. You know she is 62 years old and looks AMAZING. She takes 62 pills a day, in vitamins, minerals and supplements. 62 a day! I know, that's insane, right? But she LOOKS and FEELS amazing. And she's 62! She uses hormone creams daily, she does yoga, she eats clean, and she does not feel 62. I wonder if she obsesses like I do? Will I end up like her? Eating 62 vitamins, minerals and supplements a day? I might! If it means peace of mind regarding living well and longer.
I guess I'm really having issues with half my life being over. I'm not normally a "glass is half empty" person. I'm usually an optimist. But for some reason, 40 has snuck up and smacked me so hard on the head that I'm freaking out thinking the pain is brain cancer. Okay, that's dramatic, but you get my drift.
I just wish I could stop those thoughts. It's not a nice thing to wake up to. It wasn't concious, it was the first thought that popped into my head after "ow, my abs hurt".
Side note: I'm on day 11 of being OP, and I'm coming up on the weekend. I'm not feeling incredibly confident, so I need to do some serious planning. Sunday is Chili Cheese Dog Day. We will be ice skating, which will burn some calories, but I need to sit down and figure out an eating plan that will allow me to partake and not sabotage my efforts. Of course, as I'm typing this, my mind is racing ahead. I'm thinking I'll make my own chili, and I'll have a weiner, smothered in low fat chili, with a sprinkle of cheese and a swack of fried onions (actually, sauteed in water onions, but fried sounds better). Without a bun, it should be manageable, right? Either way, I'll have to plan, track and figure calories in and out.
I can do this. I can continue my streak. I WILL continue my streak.
Thanks for listening,
If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.
Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".
This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.