If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

I am NOT a runner, dammit!!!

I have been thinking long and hard about this whole "not being a runner" thing. I talked it out loud to my husband and finally figured it out.

In my mind, a runner is a dedicated person. One who commits to running on a daily basis. One who enjoys getting out there to run, rain or shine. One who wants to run all the time.

This is not me. I do not relate to that person. I enjoy a run here and there. I enjoy the weather when I'm in the MOOD for it, rain or shine. I do not always enjoy running. Sometimes I downright hate it. I've had good runs and I've had bad runs. But I've not ever thought to myself "this is who I am".

I am a health nut. I am a daily excerciser. I do aerobics. I do circuit training. I do weights. I run. I am not an "anything" really. I am an "all of it". I don't want to be pigeonholed into a commitment. I don't like training for a run, because then I "have" to do the running. And if I have to... I hate it. I end up miserable. I do not enjoy myself. It makes me want to quit working out. I dread getting going. I end up doing it and enjoying it usually, but the whole day before my run is pretty much ruined by the dread.

So marathon training? Sorry Crystal, not going to happen. I am not prepared to commit to a schedule. I love running when the mood strikes me, like it did yesterday. I love that I definately CAN run longer distances. I also love that I don't have to if I don't want to. I love that I'm in such top physical shape that I can not run for months and then do a 10km race and not cripple myself too badly.

But am I a runner? No.

Thanks for listening,



Magda said...

Shakes head, laughs points finger and asks how your denial is treating you?

Dude, what you described is a competitive/ Olympic athlete... not a runner... a runner is a person who runs... when they bloody well wanna. That's you pumpkin... but it's ok we all know you seem to have skipped anger and gone straight to bargaining (thought he f$%k off Crystal was a little 'agressive') :P. So you just have depression and then you're there... see you're more than half way to acceptance. ;)

Which sister do you love? Is it me? Oh I think it iiiiissss :D

kiss kiss

♥ Dee ♥ said...

Crystal likes it aggressive.

You crack me up, Mag. Seriously. LOL

Magda said...