If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Yay and Sigh

Today, I'm working away in my office, and I hear my dogs go absolutely ape-shit. I come out to see Unc standing in my entrance hall.

Backstory: Unc is my mom's brother. My mom that is my sister's bio mom, the one that died in 97 by her own hand. Unc and I were always close. Closer than my sis was to him, only because I have the ability to tolerate alcoholism more than she does. She loves him just as much, but from a further distance. But somehow we lost touch... Unc was under the impression that we "disowned" him after sis's wedding, as we never really talked after that. I can't speak for anyone else, but as for me... well, I suck. I am a sucky friend, relative, niece, etc, in that I never call. I've never been the kind that calls. And over time, I lost his number, forgot which place was his, and just kinda fell out of touch for no reason. And now, five years have passed...

Back to present day: I pretty much flung myself into his arms, I was soooo incredibly happy to see him. I adore Unc!! He was very standoffish, so I talked with him, after ge have me his deets, and this was when he told me why he thought we hadn't talked for so long. Needless to say, I was incredibly sad that he was under that impression.

He also told me, in a very casual and offhand way, that he has stomach issues. Diarhea, stomach pain and such, and from the testing they have done, they have found lumps and shadows on his lungs, liver and other places in his body. His entire family died of cancer. He smokes and drinks excessively. (he says he doesn't drink like that anymore... a bit, not excessively)

I asked if he was worried (dumb question, but whadda ya say??), and he said "Nah, life is just like that, shit happens". Which, actually, for Unc is about right... lol.

As we were standing in the kitchen talking, he mentions that Rob is out talking to Tracy (my brother, talking to his wife). OMG!! I went running out, and hugged the CRAP out of her, LOL. Then we proceeded to have a really great visit. I found out that Unc works almost seven days a week at the mill. He's paid off Revenue Canada (took five years, but he's now clear!), paid off his vehicles, and is actually settled into married life and living well! Nice!!

I am going to have to make effort in this relationship that I don't normally make. Too much time has gone by. He's probably dying. God it hurts to write that...

Unc is going to take Steve on a roadtrip on Aug 15th. I want Steve to go, because I want them to have the memories together. It will be fantastic for them both. Unc will feel important, having moulded Steve's bike driving, and Steve looks to Unc as a mentor. I'm very excited for them both.

I'm worried that Unc and sis will not be able to get past (is that the right phrase?? I dunno...) the wedding. I recall Unc up at the podium giving a speech, sounding completely sloshed. He insists he had been up for 36 hours (having come from work), had only had a couple of drinks, and was NOT sloshed. And he's completely offended that it was assumed he was. I'm really really hoping that the topic just doesn't come up. I'm really really hoping that because there is NO way he will back down. He and sis are so much alike (in odd ways, not all) and each are the type to feel very strongly about how they feel something happened, or didn't happen. And he's an old codger who has his knickers in a knot. But I get the feeling that he wants to reconnect. That he's worried that he's dying, and wants to put it behind. I hope so, anyways.

Oy vey. All I know is that I love him. I've always loved the asshole. He's my asshole. Know what I mean??



~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

I know what you mean, I hope for your family's sake that the past can stay there.

Nadine said...

Ahhhh, gotta love that family drama. Glad you got to reconnect!

Squishy ! said...

I hope that things go over smoothly with your sis and Unc. I think that every wedding has to have it's funkiness. *grins* My husband's grandma threw up next to our "getaway car", and my mom invited some guy she met at a bar the night before. We spent a few hours playing the "do you know that guy?" game, he drank it up and cut a mean rug. *laughs*

sesame said...

VERY cool!

I very much look forward to reconnecting with him and assuring him that there are no issues between he and I.

♥ Dee ♥ said...

I'm so glad we are able to have the opportunity to make him understand that whatever issues there are quite simply are in his own head.

Magda said...

I hear yeah .. loud and clear :)