If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Friday, June 3, 2016

Gym Musings

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Gym Musings: I had the WORST anxiety about it, which is so new to me. I'm not a highly anxious person. I'm normally pretty chill. So to find myself reaching for the phone to cancel because I felt so sick about going was weird for me. Luckily my gym buddy had just texted saying she was ready. I drove to her place so we could carpool there, and cried all the way there. I talked myself through it and kept going, but it was so so bizarre, the level of anxiety.
She was great, she recognized immediately that I was in distress and hustled me in the car, chattering brightly to distract me. As usual, she was my strength when I couldn't find it within. 
So, we went to Club 16. The desk staff was super friendly. I had to fill out a form online, and then I got a paper pass for three days and that was it, I was in. I have to admit I was taken aback that that was it. No tour? Nobody to talk to me and sell me on why I want to make this my home gym? You just let me loose in here to kill myself on these contraptions? If I hadn't had my gym buddy I would have been lost. Literally. Like, they didn't even point out where the change room or doors were. Being in sales and customer service, I found this really odd. Hubby says that's normal, though, in gyms.
We did a walk through of the co-ed part. It's huge. And intimidating as hell. I would definitely need to hire someone to teach me what to do if I were to venture there.
We headed into the She's Fit side. It was quiet, serene... quite lovely, actually. We hopped on a treadmill and walked for twenty minutes, chattering. I kept thinking "are people going to get mad that we are talking?" and I'm sure that a couple of the ladies in there were miffed, but they didn't say anything.
The treadmills are state of the art, and I love that if you are there alone you can just plug your earbuds into the machine and watch the built in tv. Much nicer than everyone staring at the one on the wall. You can watch whatever you want.
They have a circuit in there. Two, actually, the She's Fit and the Co-ed. the Co-ed machines are superior. We stuck with the She's Fit side. I remember Curves used to advertise this thing, so I had a basic understanding of how it works. There are traffic lights, red and green. You work on the machine during the green, and during the red you move to the next machine. It alternates upper and lower body. If you hit every machine you target every muscle. It's a full body work out in half an hour.
I thought about this a lot last night and decided this is exactly what I'm looking for. I'm not looking to lose weight or build muscle, really. I'm looking to retain my strength as my body gets to a healthier place. The walking is fine, and I've been using my resistance bands, but I don't know enough to know I'm getting EVERY muscle. The circuit does the thinking for me. I like this idea.
My body is tight and a little sore this morning, which feels great. I didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to move stuff. I moved stuff. I can feel it. I'm so proud of myself for just doing it, despite my ridiculous anxiety.
Today I'm going back and I'll do the circuit first and then spend whatever I have left in me on the treadmill walking. I think that makes sense for me and my limitations.
Tomorrow we try Fitness Unlimited. They are waiving drop in fees for the day. I think it's fair to give both gyms a shake, so we are heading there at 10:30am to give it a go. I'll let you know how it pans out.


Enz said...

How was the second gym?

♥ Dee ♥ said...

I really should remember this blog more often. I went with the first one because the machines are newer and I have two peeps that go... only I've yet to see them there.

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