My Journey: Introspective (Is that the right word?)

Disclaimer:

If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.

♥♥

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Introspective (Is that the right word?)

This is gonna get deep, folks.

I just spent time on FB looking at pictures of myself. I really sat and looked, because you know what? I didn't really know what I looked like.

I've looked at so many pics of myself over the last year. More pictures than probably the other 38 years put together. However, most are a glance long enough to decide whether it needs to be deleted or can stay. However, looking at the pictures from Jessie's 19th, with the horizontal stipes (I know I keep going on about it, but wow that' huge to me!) I realized that I do look different. I'm a completely different looking person than I was a year ago, even.

Looking at these current picture, though, I realized that the dramatic changes are done. THIS is what I'm going to look like for the rest of my life. Well, you know what I mean. Do you? I'm kinda lost, thus the long blog. I'm facing my next chapter... in the mirror.

I've been working toward something for months and months. And I've arrived. I have been working towards being healthy, and that's what I am today. I eat well. I excercise almost daily. I live an intentionally Core life, in food and in other ways. I'm going more and more natural. Natural hair colour. Totally toned down the makeup, and don't even wear any for days at a time. But think I actually look okay that way in this body. In the fat body I just looked pasty and sick. Now I'm healthy!

I look forward to getting the last bit off, then maintenance. I'm gonna totally rock maintenance. I can eat this way the rest of my life EASY, because I like the way this feels.

((I warned you it was going to get deep!))