If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Thursday, November 27, 2008

A Day of Sadness

Yesterday felt like a day of action. I didn't hang out last night, waiting for the phone to ring. I felt that would be unhealthy for me, as I didn't expect him to call (which he didn't). But I knew my heart would jump every time that phone rang. And it rings a lot, with having a teenager in the house.

I went out to Tracy's and had an amazing visit. It was nice to have some time of just the two of us, catching up on the craziness that has visited our lives in the last little while. I came home late, and the dogs were already in bed. I didn't want to go into my office to check the call display, because I didn't want them to wake up and want out. I did search around the house, but Logan must have had the other phone in his room. So I shrugged and went to bed, without knowing if he had called. Pat myself on the back.

Of course, the first thing I did getting up just now was ... well, it was let the dogs out ... but the first thing after THAT was to check the call display. An unknown caller! A message on the phone! My sister Magda, wondering if I actually live here since I'm not ever home to answer her calls... LOL.

Today I feel... lethargic. I'm going to take today and wallow a little bit. I've been strong, determined, and self respecting, and today I'm feeling a little sad. I'm dropping below the line today, and just hanging out with me and my dogs. I feel like I need to get my house in order, literally as well as figuratively.

I don't want to talk to anyone, I need to really delve into myself and figure out what I need to do to move on. I need to really spend some time in my head today.

Thank you, everyone. Seriously. I could feel the love and support carrying me yesterday. I felt strong and in control, and I knew that I had every one of you backing me up.



carjac said...

Thinking of you....Hugs

sesame said...


Magda said...

Ohhh sure.. you say you came home and saw and heard me message but .. I figure you just checked it remotely from you new house that you're not telling me about for fear that when I throw my life to the wind I'll end up on your door.. I'm onto you.... MISSY!!!