If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Sunday, December 28, 2008

Today I'm doing things DIFFERENT

I am moving more today. Instead of walking into the kitchen, I'm doing lunges into the kitchen. I'm doing random jumping jacks. I spent an hour on the treadmill yesterday. I may do the same today. I'm going out to my girlfriends tonight to play DDR which is always a great workout.

I made soup. Reeeally low point soup, with my leftovers. I'm eating it instead of bad things. It's tasty, delicious and nutritious and food is FUEL. I've got to get OUT of the thought process about food yumminess and back into the reality of a physically healthy person.

I started my day with a half flax bagel, topped with a quarter cup egg white omellette made with a tablespoon of Romano and green onions. I almost ate the entire bagel, but then forced myself to LOOK at the calories. 160 for a half. Did I really really REALLY need that other half? No. And if I am hungry after, I can go back for it. You can always add more, but you can't take away what you already ate.

As you can imagine, I didn't go back for the second half.

I've had my one cup of coffee, and am now working on my water. I have a mug of hot water in front of me that I am enjoying.

TOM is starting today, and I'm bitchy as all hell. I was so bored last night that I was MAD. My poor husband. I avoided him like the plague, well, because he has the plague. Anytime he breathed or coughed I seriously wanted to strangle him to put him out of my misery. I was not fit for man nor beast last night. I layed on my bed and felt sorry for myself and watched Curly Sue... which actually made me smile. Haven't seen that movie in a bizmillion years. (nobody tell me when it came out... I don't want to feel that old)

I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and thought "who the hell is that old lady?". Wrinkles and bags and hair all a mess... sigh. I have old lady neck. Damn it. I know I look great... for a 40 year old. I'm kinda pissed that I fatted my way through the years where it would have stopped at "look great" withOUT the caveat. Whatever.

I need botox, or my eyebrows are going to stay this way.

Cabin fever is NOT a good thing.

I may be back... I can't think of anything else to say right now. I'm being crabby.

Thanks for listening,