If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Happy Food Dance Day!

I'm very excited for my foods this morning. And I was happy too, that Logan joined me for breakfast. I made him a decadent oatmeal and he loved it. He didn't even drown it in brown sugar, which is his usual MO!!

Hmmm, what's on the agenda for today. Well, after last night's 45 minutes of step aerobics, I think I'll just have a nice run today. Wait! Let me check the weather network first... Ah! Only a 10% chance of precipitation. A run it is! Tuesday's run was brutal. There were flakes falling during my run. Okay, only about six, but that tells you how cold it was! It was deceptive... the wind was what was making it cold! And I don't have proper running clothes for cold weather. I can't find that balance. I'm either too hot or too cold. My kingdom for baby bear!!!

With WI on Saturday, I'm only doing the run today, then taking tomorrow off. I find if I work out the day before WI, my muscles hold water or something, and it's never a good showing on the scale. And yes, I know, the scale isn't the endall beall, but whatever. You obsess over your things, I'll obsess over mine.

I think the main reason I'm obsessing over it right now is because I'm still above 145. I'm not in new loss territory, and it's killing me. I'm getting back there in a slow steady manner that is healthy, but it was my own stupidity that brought me back up here in the high 140's. And I hate admitting stupidity!!! I want this weight GONE. I want to be charting new waters. I want the excitement of a number I've never seen on the scale in my adult life. Does that make sense to you?

My lowest weight to date was 144.6. When I get below that, I will be a super happy camper!

Also, in the past, when I put on a chunk of weight (ha! good choice of wording, huh? LOL), it came off the very next week. But not this time... this time it's taking weeks. Bit of a wakeup call, that is! The body will not bounce back easy every time. Don't become complacent thinking it's gonna come right off. May not happen. Makes one think twice about a week long binge, doesn't it?

Well, here is my fuel for the day:

Br: Decadent Oatmeal (1/3 cup porridge, .17 cup chopped prunes, 1/3 cup almond breeze, 1 tablespoon each of dark chocolate chips, toasted almonds, and PB2), milk & vitamins (426 calories)

Lu: Breakfast Wrap (whole wheat sprouted grain tortilla, 1/4 cup egg white scrambled, 1 tablespoon shredded romano, 2 tablespoons salsa, 1 oz raw spinach) (226 calories)

Sn: 1 kiwi, 1/2 cup plain fat free yogurt, 1/4 cup pumkin flax granola (202 calories)

Dn: 1 Italian burger patty, 1/2 cup whole wheat couscous, 1 cup smashed turnip (324 calories)

That's a total of 1177 calories for the day!

Thanks for listening,



Magda said...

um... a baby bear?

charmed i'm sure said...

Instant Gratification Girl strikes again!!! LMAO :) I am very proud of you for running in the coldness - six flakes of snow is six flakes too many for me! you are my hero IGG!! xo