If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Saturday, February 7, 2009


Jesus Suffering FUCK!!!

I just added a column to my excel sheet of weight loss tracking for last year. And am I ever disgusted with myself!!!

Because I'm in the BLBE, I am losing at a steady pace, and I decided that since this is the year I'm going to get at goal, I wanted to see how much I'm losing, so far this year. So I created a column and put in all the formulas, to find that I've lost 5.4 lbs so far this year. Woot! Go me!! That's nice and slow and steady (shut UP, interal IGG).

But then, I decided to copy and paste that badboy over to LAST year's excel sheet. And now I am banging my head on my desk. I wasted an entire year!!! All told, by the end of the year, wanna know how much I lost?? Five pounds. FIVE POUNDS!!!!

There were points where that number was up to 16 lbs lost for the year, but I waffled back and forth, and then with my nine pound gain over Christmas, the year ended with a five pound difference for the entire year.


THIS year will be different. My life begins TODAY. EVERY day. That's utterly ridiculous that I maintained for an entire year, when I wasn't even at goal.

The silver lining is that I will ROCK maintenance... lol. But then I knew that. I joked about it all year. But in all honesty, I didn't realize it was THAT bad.

Wow. We have to learn from our past, huh?

Oh, if you want a copy of my excel sheet for your own tracking purposes, gimme your email address and I'll send it to you. Same with my measurements sheets if you want.

Thanks for listening,



Lori said...

I really want this dee :0) Simba_345@hotmail.com

I am trying to get this stupid Blog set up, but you think I can @@ !!! ARGH, I have been working on it for 3 days and can't figure this crap out!!! OK well off to work!!!

sesame said...

You know, I could feel the same way about 2008. A fricking waste! A year full of lying to myself and letting myself down.

This year I am challenging myself to loose as much weight as I did in the first 24months.

The past is the past...Luckily we have many tomorrows.

Liway said...

Dee....Lori (above) referred me to your blog!!! I would love a copy of your excel sheets too....liway@sunwave.net. Also, I just wanted to say that YOU inspire me!!! I actually picked up a copy of JM video today and hope to SHRED right along beside you. I'm going to C&P this into today's blog post too, as I don't know if you check this far back into your comments!! Congrats on your progress so far - looking forward to continuing this journey with you. I have 40lbs to goal and hope to get there this year too!!! It's MY time!! :-) Thank you!! ....Lisa :-)