If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Monday, May 4, 2009

Oprah, Kirstie and my thoughts...

I finally got to watch Thursday's Oprah. Did you watch it? If you are still waiting to, then don't read any further.





Okay, still with me? What did you think?

I find it fascinating to listen to people who have not only lost weight, but have gained it back. You see, I don't want to just know what works. I'm also researching what DOESN't work.

For example, taking all your excercise equipment out and making that room into a dining room. This, apparently, is not a good idea... lol. But wait. Let's look deeper at this. Here's my thought. There was one thing she said. She "missed" dinner parties. Why is that? If she had been on a sustainable lifestyle journey, she could have incorporated dinner parties. She could have found the tools to work around dinner parties. But she didn't. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it strikes me that she was on such a mission to lose the weight that she lost track of her life.

I will not do this. I will have dinner parties. And then I will balance them out with killer workouts and lower calorie balance meals during that day. I will enjoy my life, mostly in moderation, and always in balance. This will help me to maintain my weightloss. Thanks, Kirstie!

Another thing that Kirstie said was that she didn't WANT their to be consequences so she just *waves hand in the air*. Implying that she just ignored them. Like if you don't think about them, they go away. Again, this did not work for her.

I will not do this. I will have to make a concious choice every time I put somthing in my mouth for the rest of my life. That is my reality if I want to maintain. I need to understand, embrace and plan for the consequences. Luckily, I am fully prepared to do this.

I loved that Kirstie recognizes her own justification. She started talking about how she's ten years older than Valerie Bertanelli, then interrupts herself with "here I go with the justification". We all do this. In my opinion, justifying is fine. But it's not a reason to stop doing things, or stop being accountable. Sure I'm ten years older than others on a similar journey. So fucking what? I still got here. And I still work hard to stay here. I can justify till the cows come home. It doesn't change reality.

I howled when Oprah said "It's not about comparing to someone elses body, it's about what your body can do". Kirstie's response? "That's what people say when they are fat." Now this was a tough one for me. Because I have struggled with this myself. Hard. But I'm learning to accept my body, accept who I am, and realize that I am living up to my own potential. It's never going to be what the magazines show. It's never going to be up to Hollywood standards. That is MY reality. So no. I don't necessarily agree with Kirstie on that statement.

When she was asked if the bikini has to be her goal, she waffled for a moment then went right back to YES, for her it does. Everyone has their own goals, and we cannot judge what that is for that person. But I tell ya... I'm concerned for this girl.

She has lost 20 pounds in 5 weeks. She talks about having "found the formula". And she seems to be under the impression that she can be "ripped" by November. November? That's only seven months away. And she has at least seventy pounds to lose. That's a pretty aggressive goal. She did change it to February, but that was only because Oprah wouldn't let her give herself such a perceivably unattainable goal. Oprah did not want to be held responsible, I'm sure, if something went horribly wrong. She is all about the healthy natural weight loss. I think she's just as freaked out as I am with Kirstie's plan.

I love love love when Oprah said that she isn't setting a goal. She just wants to be healthy and sustainable. That there is Shero talk.

On one last note... I really felt for Kirstie when she told the story about the little boy yelling "Hi, Jenny!" to her. He thought she was Jenny Craig. It made her realize that she has lost a part of who she is. She is an actress. But these days she's best known for her weight, be it up or down. Makes me glad, SO glad, that I am not in Hollywood afterall.

Thanks for listening,



Squishy ! said...

I see some of my own character quirks in Kirstie. Mainly, I think about how she said that she just wanted to do it "her way". I don't like to be told what to do either. *laughs* I like to find out what works for me, and go for it. That takes some trial and error though, and it always seems like there's always someone watching, waiting for me to screw up.

For me, the best part of the show was watching Michael talk. I have followed him for a while, even watching him on Brookhaven. (I own Sweatin' to the Oldies 2, that he is on.) He inspires me to take this whole journey one step at a time, and to learn what I need as I go. He is right that you can't live "on a diet" all the time. That is my problem- I'm afraid of how I'll manage once I get to where I want to be. I haven't maintained a weight (even a heavy one! lol) throughout my adult years. I'm always either getting fatter, or working it all off. I think some of that is simply because, like Michael, I don't know how to process life as a "skinny" person. I've trained myself to be fat or micro-manage my diet, never just to live a moderate and active lifestyle.

♥ Dee ♥ said...

I hear you, Squish. I was terrified of maintenance. But you know what? It's been easier than I thought it would be.

But my reality is that I will remain a "tracker" for the rest of my life. I track all that I eat. I track all of my excercise. I have to. It's the only thing I can do.

Luckily, I'm okay with that.