Happy Father's Day to All

To the Fathers: Thank you for giving of your essence to create a wonderful gift in our children. Thank you .

To the Step Fathers: Thank you for being there, despite not having to. Thank you for your understanding despite the frustration that comes when a child is not biologically yours. Thank you for sticking around, where many wouldn't. Thank you for stepping in, and loving. Thank you for stepping back, and loving. Thank you.

To the Absentee Fathers: Thank you for giving the gift of taking your poisonous self elsewhere and not damaging your children any more than you have. Thank you for doing the right thing, and knowing that your influence would harm them more than your abandonment. Thank you.

To the Disowned Fathers: Thank you for respecting your child's wishes, even if you don't understand. Thank you for allowing your child the freedom to live their own lives. Thank you.

To the Moms of kids with no dads: Thank you for doing your best to fulfill both roles in your children's lives. Thank you.

I miss so many people today. My father whom will not speak to me despite my extending an olive branch after 20 years of disownment. My bio father, just because I do not know him, yet I am a part of him. Doug Sr. My friend, my lover, father of my firstborn. Deceased now, which was the best parenting he ever did (long sad story of drug addiction). My birth mother, who lives 12 hours away, and is the only parent who cared enough to love me despite everything, even when she didn't know me, and who strives to be the best parent she can be and does an awesome job of it. My mom that raised me, despite our rocky relationship. I think it's more missing what could or should have been.

And yet, my life is filled with amazing dad's, too. My husband, who is the kind of stepdad who doesn't want to step on toes (with the older who was nine when we met) but cares so much and just truly wants the boys to be what he sees they can be. He loves them from whatever distance or closeness they require. My ex, who is both an amazing father and an amazing stepfather. He and his wife are my friends. Not many can say that, but it's true. There is a genuine caring without hostility, and we love each others kids unconditionally. My brother in law. A father that brings tears to my eyes. If you knew him when... you would understand why. He navigates the world of little girls growing up with wide eyes, a firm hand, and a gentle shake of his head. I so admire him. And all of these people are my nearest and dearest. I am so blessed.

To all who have fathers and all who don't. Think today of the blessings, and let's minimize the sad as much as we can. We'll take a moment and mourn the losses... absolutely. But from there I plan on celebrating those that are IN my life. I'm too blessed not to.


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