One of the comments on my Crossroads blog needs to be placed front and center:
We all have different hats that we wear, different identities, and different sides of ourselves that we share with others. When certain topics arise we exercise different levels of censorship and/or tailor our message, depending on the audience. Agreed?
So, I confess, I have religiously been checking your blog to see how your thoughts poured out following our lunch conversations. I have a heavy investment in your happiness and desperately wish for tough stages to pass quickly.
I’ve read the responses from your fellow bloggers that say such things as “don’t sensor yourself” and “your blog, say what you want”. These are responses I expected. They also use blogs to work through their thoughts, stages, struggles, victories etc. so they share that, in a unique community, with you. They share that same sense of entitlement and view blogs somewhat as a “shared diary”. I get it. I can’t argue their points.
That said, I began to think about the different communities you have and the level of engagement/impact you have with each.
Obviously what you say on your blog would not have the same impact that a face to face conversation, expression, passing comment, evening together would have. If your day to day intimate people are upset by what they read on your blog, it then becomes a case of “two worlds colliding”, I think.
Really, if people are going to go there to read it, they do so with a level of risk. As many have said, this is where the uncensored version of you appears and you have every right to that.
Those of us in your intimate day to day world who decide to peep at you in that community also have the opportunity to talk to you personally about what you write, think, work through. That said, if we don’t find that reading your blog is complimenting the relationship, we also have the option not to read it and keep the relationship purely personal. (I bounce between these two, depending on the day, but I know you are only a porch chat away if I want to talk to you further about something that may or may not relate to or refer to me).
She's right... lots of bloggers don't tell their real life world about their blog, so that they have the freedom to purge and be real and journal their journey with whole honesty and truth in their feelings. The good, bad AND ugly.
I have to admit, I've been cringing at the responses I'm getting to my Crossroads entry. This was all triggered by a personal issue, and every "you go girl" response I'm getting, I'm picturing that person sitting back and taking it all as a personal attack on herself.
I'm not looking for assurance. I'm not looking for permissions. I'm not looking for anything, really. I just want to diariaze where I am today, find and use the tools to work through it, and be able to look back on it later and note what worked and what didn't, for future use.
Thank you, my friends, for your support. Thank you for your comments. I do appreciate each and every one of you. And I will continue to be true to me on here. Why? Because this is my personal diary. Read at your own risk...
Thanks for listening,
If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.
Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".
This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.