If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.


Sunday, January 4, 2009

I have a new friend!

Her name is Marisa. I've been following her blog, and have now forced her via peer pressure to take part in the Biggest Loser Blog Challenge.

I'm calling her my friend (no, I'm not a crazy stalker lady), because I feel like I totally relate to her. She wrote, with her commenting back and forth with me, all of MY fears when waffling about whether or not to do the challenge.

The fear of failure. The fear of holding the team back. The fear of fear.

But what we were doing was giving ourselves permission to fail. And I've done that way to often in my life to want to keep doing it! I've worked really really hard to take two words out of my vocabulary. Try and Hope. I don't Try to do things. I either do them or I don't. I don't Hope things will work out. I make them work out, or I don't. By Trying or Hoping, I give myself permission to fail.

I've lost 60 pounds on this journey. And I have to tell you... not ONCE did I try or hope ANYTHING. I either did it, or didn't. I had weeks of gain. I had more of loss. But I took ownership of everything. No excuses, just reasons.

I need a kick in the ass. I've become complacent with my loss, because I'm so much happier with my body today. But then I look around and I see all the signs out there of what my body weight SHOULD be at. I'm still technically overweight. I still have belly fat (the most dangerous fat to have). I still am in higher clothing sizes (8/10).

I know it's not bad... but I also know it could be better. I know I look great. I could look AMAZING. It's time to take my head out of the sand (or out of my ass, whatever) and get back to moving on.

So, for the next 16 weeks, I'm HARDCORE, baby! Me and Marisa!! We are going to work out and eat properly. We are going to commit to this challenge and we are going to lose the weight!

Why? Because WE ARE WORTH IT!!!!

Thanks for listening,



Marisa said...

Hey, crazy stalker lady!!!! We ARE twins separated at birth! I will have to talk to my parents about that one! Well, what can I say, but DITTO to your whole post! I freaked out for about an hour after I signed up, but then felt a sense of calm. Now, I feel stoked about the whole thing! We are gonna do this, get to the end of be really PROUD of ourselves for taking the chance! I promise to keep you honest and I know you'll do the same for me. Thanks for talking me into it! Hopefully, we'll be on the same team!! If not, I'll root for ya anyway!

♥ Dee ♥ said...

You betcha, baby!!