Disclaimer:


If you have issues, or baggage, you may be offended by what you read here. I work through my self loathing of my own fat, and my own fat issues, and I’m told this comes across as loathing all fat people. That is simply not the case.

Here I talk about my issues and my findings, without political correctness. I am not concerned with your issues, or your baggage, or what you may take from this. The title is "My Journey".

This blog is not meant to inspire anyone. I take no responsibility for what you take away from here. You are here as a guest into my inner thoughts.

♥♥

Monday, April 6, 2009

Scared to Death

I'm about to walk out the door to go see the plastic surgeon for a consultation in regards to my skin cancer.

Stupid me convinced everyone that I was fine.

I didn't think I would be this scared. I didn't think I'd so not want to be alone as I face this today. But I am, and I'll deal with it like I always do.

One day I will learn to reach out and ask for help. One day I will learn to not say "oh no, it'll be fine", when the voice inside my head is shrieking "YES I WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME, WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?!". One day I will. One day. Maybe.

Sigh.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

7 comments:

charmed i'm sure said...

good luck Dee - thoughts and prayers are with you! xoxo

Chantel said...

Good luck!!

sesame said...

You have been on my mind since the moment I woke today.

In fact, my IM bubble to you says:

[10:14] srichardson: how are you feeling today?
[10:14] srichardson: you are on my mind
[10:14] srichardson: I wish I was with you. Love you more than you will ever know.

My hand is always here, extended, you only need to grasp it and I will walk along side you. Anytime, anywhere, through anything.

Love

Saje said...

I do the same thing and am also trying to teach myself otherwise... best of luck today. I know these types of appointments are scary, but I have no doubt your support system will be waiting for you when you are done. Blessed be.

sweet26 said...

good luck dee, i hope everything turns out okay.

Krista "Phoenix" said...

Oh Dee... {HUGS} I wish I had something more profound to say other than I'll be thinking of you and praying for you today...

Dancing Sweet Pea said...

Best of luck -- thinking of you!