I'm so stoked for the weekend! Steve and I are going to the fireworks on Saturday. Not sure if we are doing English Bay or what. Then Sunday having Cindy and Erica come into town and hopefully a river running through it. The weather forecast is looking promising. Cross our fingers that Sammy can join us, even for an hour, in the river so she can see where we go. She hasn't been there yet. Yep, Erica, you were the first of my girls to experience the Maple Ridge River Running Through It.
I'm kinda concerned about my activity level. My work has not facilitated working out to the degree I was, so I'm down to my nightly walks with the dogs and maybe 1/2 hour a day dancing/stepping. So what I've done is increased the intensity of it when I do it. And considering how crappy I've been eating (little bits here and there) I better smarten the fuck up. Freedom from the scale seems to have gone to my head, and I don't want it going to my tummy!! But then it's not even been a week, so I should just relax and find my groove. Right? RIGHT??
Today's fuel:
Br: fried egg sammich on WW bread (1pt) w/ tomato & ff cheese
Lu: leftover Core Alfredo Casserole & a glass of milk
Sn: cottage cheese, blueberries, strawberries & ground flax seed
Sn: carrots?
Dn: pork loin chops, rice, swiss chard
Sn: popcorn & milk
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Kryptonite!
So apparently, pizza is also kryptonite to me. Yeesh!
Yesterday we helped Andrew & Michelle move, and then had pizza. I totally over indulged. Then I get home around 8pm and about 20 minutes later I hear Steve yell "dinner's here". Guess what he ordered... pizza! And could I say no? Nope. Got in there and had another slice and a half. Cuz it was a different flavour... my favourite.
Then I'm sitting here this morning OBSESSING over the damn leftovers. I've now eaten two pieces and am NOT happy.
As of RIGHT NOW control is mine. RIGHT now, I'm back in control, dammit.
Yesterday we helped Andrew & Michelle move, and then had pizza. I totally over indulged. Then I get home around 8pm and about 20 minutes later I hear Steve yell "dinner's here". Guess what he ordered... pizza! And could I say no? Nope. Got in there and had another slice and a half. Cuz it was a different flavour... my favourite.
Then I'm sitting here this morning OBSESSING over the damn leftovers. I've now eaten two pieces and am NOT happy.
As of RIGHT NOW control is mine. RIGHT now, I'm back in control, dammit.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday's Rambling
Good Morning, All!
Well, it's a fine rainy day, isn't it? My flowers and lawn are very happy at least.
My abs STILL hurt from the gym on Sunday. I copied what a skinny girl was doing, and I see now why it works. Yikes!
Yesterday I danced for a couple of hours then went for an hour walk in the evening with Sam and the dogs. Was completely OP in eating. Today my workout will be helping Andrew and Michelle unload and unpack.
Today's fuel: Br: Oatmeal w/ apple sauce & sf maple syrop
Lu: pork burger, couscous, carrots
Sn: apple
Dn: fake crab & pasta
Well, it's a fine rainy day, isn't it? My flowers and lawn are very happy at least.
My abs STILL hurt from the gym on Sunday. I copied what a skinny girl was doing, and I see now why it works. Yikes!
Yesterday I danced for a couple of hours then went for an hour walk in the evening with Sam and the dogs. Was completely OP in eating. Today my workout will be helping Andrew and Michelle unload and unpack.
Today's fuel: Br: Oatmeal w/ apple sauce & sf maple syrop
Lu: pork burger, couscous, carrots
Sn: apple
Dn: fake crab & pasta
Monday, July 28, 2008
Went a little nuts....
... this weekend.
I gave in to my once a year craving for a Peanut Buster Parfait on Saturday. Mind you that was after going to the Carribean Festival and only snitching 2 mini donuts from Steve rather than having my own dozen, and not having the usual curried goat with rice and trimmings OR the gelato I had promised myself.
Sunday I had a baby shower to go to, so I went to the gym in the morning. At the shower I had a very small piece of cake, a sliver of a brownie, one 2-bite caramel coffee cake, 1/4 of a 2-bite butter tart, a ton of veggies and fruit, and two pieces of bread with spinach dip on them. Yep, I actually got a knife and cut slivers off things rather than eat the whole piece. Then I came home and got a chef salad with garlic cheese bread from Bobby Sox and shared it with Steve.
Overall not horrible choices. Could have been sooo much worse.
Took Oscar and Morgana for a walk around the block and that was it for the day. Layed on the couch watching TV the rest of the night.
Today is completely OP again:
Br: oatmeal
Lu: soup & grilled cheese (1pt)
Sn: yoghurt & fruit w/ flax
Dn: pork burger w/ gravy & steamed cauliflower
Sn: popcorn
I gave in to my once a year craving for a Peanut Buster Parfait on Saturday. Mind you that was after going to the Carribean Festival and only snitching 2 mini donuts from Steve rather than having my own dozen, and not having the usual curried goat with rice and trimmings OR the gelato I had promised myself.
Sunday I had a baby shower to go to, so I went to the gym in the morning. At the shower I had a very small piece of cake, a sliver of a brownie, one 2-bite caramel coffee cake, 1/4 of a 2-bite butter tart, a ton of veggies and fruit, and two pieces of bread with spinach dip on them. Yep, I actually got a knife and cut slivers off things rather than eat the whole piece. Then I came home and got a chef salad with garlic cheese bread from Bobby Sox and shared it with Steve.
Overall not horrible choices. Could have been sooo much worse.
Took Oscar and Morgana for a walk around the block and that was it for the day. Layed on the couch watching TV the rest of the night.
Today is completely OP again:
Br: oatmeal
Lu: soup & grilled cheese (1pt)
Sn: yoghurt & fruit w/ flax
Dn: pork burger w/ gravy & steamed cauliflower
Sn: popcorn
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Down and GONE
I was down another 1.6 this morning and the scale is officially put away.
Today I am 145.2lbs.
Today I am 145.2lbs.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Friday Menu
Br: custard oatmeal made with milk
Lu: cottage cheese with brocslaw mixed into it, ground flax & my Frank's popcorn oil (yum!)
Sn: apple
Dn: Couscous with ham, avocado, tomato, Frank's & oil & a glass of milk
Sn: carrots
AP: 30 minutes hardcore step aerobics, 30 min dog walk, 40 minute walk uptown and back for coffee tonight
Grains: 2
Freggies: 4
Protein: 3
Oil: yep
Dairy: 2
I'm good! Got it all covered!
Lu: cottage cheese with brocslaw mixed into it, ground flax & my Frank's popcorn oil (yum!)
Sn: apple
Dn: Couscous with ham, avocado, tomato, Frank's & oil & a glass of milk
Sn: carrots
AP: 30 minutes hardcore step aerobics, 30 min dog walk, 40 minute walk uptown and back for coffee tonight
Grains: 2
Freggies: 4
Protein: 3
Oil: yep
Dairy: 2
I'm good! Got it all covered!
Rough Night
Man, I slept rough last night. Tossed and turned and obsessed.
But posting on WW I realized why I'm struggling so badly with this.
To give up the scale is a leap of faith. Faith in myself. Do I have what it takes to do this? Can I control my weight without the scale controlling it for me? Do I have the faith in myself to give up the scale?
Faith. Not something I have a lot of these days in other areas. Haven't had to apply it to myself like this before. It's a new concept. Not one I'm entirely comfortable with. Blind belief. It's the blind part I'm having problems with I think.
I know I have the tools. I know that I know what to do. I know what I need to move and how I need to eat and I know how many workouts I need to do. I can still track my AP, my nutrition and my measurements. All I would be giving up is one appliance. One tool out of the toolbox. Just one.
But it's the most important one of my journey so far. The one that has kept me going and kept me motivated and made me mad enough to kick my own ass into gear and rewarded me when I worked hard.
... omg. It's my mother. Seriously. It's the mother I didn't have growing up. What kind of Freudian sick bitch am I???????????????????????????? Why am I obsessed with the way the scale makes me feel??? Why do I work so hard to please it and stress at the thought of giving it up? Because it tells me when I'm having good behaviour and it gently scolds me when I'm not. It doesn't beat hell out of me, it just points out the error of my ways and sits back quietly without judging. And when I have good behaviour it quietly gives me my kudos and sits back and lets me celebrate. And the thought of giving up one of the healthy responses in my life scares me back to being a little kid. Except that it's not the scale reacting unhealthy, it's me obsessing over it's feedback.
Okay, I'm seriously fucked up. This took a bizarre turn, didn't it?? Because my childhood was so traumatizing and abusive I turn to anyone and anything, including inanimate objects for unconditional, non-judgmental feedback???
I mean, it's weird the panic I feel at the thought of giving up the number on the scale, but seriously??? Why did my fingers type this? Where did it come from? Is my subconcious thinking up excuses to NOT give it up? Or is this real in my mind? It just sounds so bizarre... and CRAZY.
Whoa. I need to think further on this.
I don't think I'll be posting this on the WW site. They really WILL think I need therapy. They don't know me and my ways of working things out. I just need to yatter it out, sort it, deal with it, and fold it neatly back away in a safe place.
Bear with my insanity, folks... I promise it won't last. I'm just figuring my way through, and you happen to be the recipients of my inner chatter.
But posting on WW I realized why I'm struggling so badly with this.
To give up the scale is a leap of faith. Faith in myself. Do I have what it takes to do this? Can I control my weight without the scale controlling it for me? Do I have the faith in myself to give up the scale?
Faith. Not something I have a lot of these days in other areas. Haven't had to apply it to myself like this before. It's a new concept. Not one I'm entirely comfortable with. Blind belief. It's the blind part I'm having problems with I think.
I know I have the tools. I know that I know what to do. I know what I need to move and how I need to eat and I know how many workouts I need to do. I can still track my AP, my nutrition and my measurements. All I would be giving up is one appliance. One tool out of the toolbox. Just one.
But it's the most important one of my journey so far. The one that has kept me going and kept me motivated and made me mad enough to kick my own ass into gear and rewarded me when I worked hard.
... omg. It's my mother. Seriously. It's the mother I didn't have growing up. What kind of Freudian sick bitch am I???????????????????????????? Why am I obsessed with the way the scale makes me feel??? Why do I work so hard to please it and stress at the thought of giving it up? Because it tells me when I'm having good behaviour and it gently scolds me when I'm not. It doesn't beat hell out of me, it just points out the error of my ways and sits back quietly without judging. And when I have good behaviour it quietly gives me my kudos and sits back and lets me celebrate. And the thought of giving up one of the healthy responses in my life scares me back to being a little kid. Except that it's not the scale reacting unhealthy, it's me obsessing over it's feedback.
Okay, I'm seriously fucked up. This took a bizarre turn, didn't it?? Because my childhood was so traumatizing and abusive I turn to anyone and anything, including inanimate objects for unconditional, non-judgmental feedback???
I mean, it's weird the panic I feel at the thought of giving up the number on the scale, but seriously??? Why did my fingers type this? Where did it come from? Is my subconcious thinking up excuses to NOT give it up? Or is this real in my mind? It just sounds so bizarre... and CRAZY.
Whoa. I need to think further on this.
I don't think I'll be posting this on the WW site. They really WILL think I need therapy. They don't know me and my ways of working things out. I just need to yatter it out, sort it, deal with it, and fold it neatly back away in a safe place.
Bear with my insanity, folks... I promise it won't last. I'm just figuring my way through, and you happen to be the recipients of my inner chatter.
A Crossroad...
I just got off the phone with Magda, then I read Nadine's reply to my Thursday Stress blog and see that my two healthy sheros are both telling me the same thing! I promised Mag I'd think on what she said, so I'm thinking here as I'm typing. Keep in mind, I'm mirroring what Magda said to me, just putting it into my own thoughts and words.
Stepping on the scale each week in the WW fashion is what I needed to do in the beginning of my journey to get into the mindset of being concious of where I am, what I'm eating, how I'm working my body and doing what I needed to do to lose the weight and stop being fat.Magda asked me if I feel good in my clothes. Yes, I do. I feel that I look good, and that I rock the clothes these days. She said "then what else matters?". I should put the scale away and step on it maybe once a month. She feels that I am at a crossroads and am entering the phase of my journey where obsessing over the scale will be detrimental, considering we're talking about half a pound or so a week. As Nadine said, Magda also pointed out that if I continue eating healthy, working out, and living my life, my clothes will tell me if I need to step it up, or cut it back. I don't need the scale anymore. I have the tools and the focus, and as I work out and continue eating properly, my body will tighten. If I want to obsess over numbers, obsess over the inches, not the weight.
When I told her that the thought of giving Sam my scale and asking her to keep it for me scares the shit out of me, she said that concerns her and tells her that I have an issue. The good news is that I have the personality that I recognize when things could possibly spiral out of control for me. Thus all these deep thoughts and posts. I do see my obsession with the scale becoming unhealthy. I could go in a bad direction with it and I recognize that.
But am I ready to give it up? I've spent a year and a half tied to the damn thing. Am I happy with my body? 90%. Am I happy with where I am? 90%. I love how I look in most clothes. I don't love how I look naked. However, I mostly like it. That's good. My BMI is still overweight, but Mag says "who cares". She says if you feel good, you feel healthy, you eat healthy regularily, you work out regularily, and your clothes fit you and make you look awesome, WHO CARES what the scale says. On the outside I'm all puffed up "ya, who cares!", but there's a little tiny voice inside squeaking 'um... I care!". Gah!
A crossroad to be sure... which way will I go? I need to ponder. I will think on it. I will WI on Saturday... and then I will consider putting my scale away.I said I'd think about it, and I will.
That's where I'm at tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Stepping on the scale each week in the WW fashion is what I needed to do in the beginning of my journey to get into the mindset of being concious of where I am, what I'm eating, how I'm working my body and doing what I needed to do to lose the weight and stop being fat.Magda asked me if I feel good in my clothes. Yes, I do. I feel that I look good, and that I rock the clothes these days. She said "then what else matters?". I should put the scale away and step on it maybe once a month. She feels that I am at a crossroads and am entering the phase of my journey where obsessing over the scale will be detrimental, considering we're talking about half a pound or so a week. As Nadine said, Magda also pointed out that if I continue eating healthy, working out, and living my life, my clothes will tell me if I need to step it up, or cut it back. I don't need the scale anymore. I have the tools and the focus, and as I work out and continue eating properly, my body will tighten. If I want to obsess over numbers, obsess over the inches, not the weight.
When I told her that the thought of giving Sam my scale and asking her to keep it for me scares the shit out of me, she said that concerns her and tells her that I have an issue. The good news is that I have the personality that I recognize when things could possibly spiral out of control for me. Thus all these deep thoughts and posts. I do see my obsession with the scale becoming unhealthy. I could go in a bad direction with it and I recognize that.
But am I ready to give it up? I've spent a year and a half tied to the damn thing. Am I happy with my body? 90%. Am I happy with where I am? 90%. I love how I look in most clothes. I don't love how I look naked. However, I mostly like it. That's good. My BMI is still overweight, but Mag says "who cares". She says if you feel good, you feel healthy, you eat healthy regularily, you work out regularily, and your clothes fit you and make you look awesome, WHO CARES what the scale says. On the outside I'm all puffed up "ya, who cares!", but there's a little tiny voice inside squeaking 'um... I care!". Gah!
A crossroad to be sure... which way will I go? I need to ponder. I will think on it. I will WI on Saturday... and then I will consider putting my scale away.I said I'd think about it, and I will.
That's where I'm at tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday Stress
I don't know why it is, but Thursday causes me major anxiety. I step on that damn scale every morning and it's always up (today was down to 148.6) and then on Thursday I do a harsh workout, Friday I don't step on the scale, and do very light workout, maybe just walking, all in prep for that Saturday moment of WI. It's crazy. For the next two days I won't eat any of my WP, or my AP. I eat so hardcore... but concious of getting enough calories in so my body doesn't hang on to the weight in starvation mode. I eat foods that will clear my bowels, in order to get as much weight off and out as possible.
You know... I'm really looking forward to maintenance when I won't have this stress. And it's only less than 20 pounds away. Thank god!!! Not exactly sure what that magical number will be... I'm having a difficult time NOT seeing fat everywhere on my body.
On that note... Steve actually got pissed at me the other day for pointing out fatty bits. I think he's worried that I'll become anorexic, or get unhealthy or something. And I can see how it happens. Erica took a pic of my leg to show me the muscle definition (btw, Erica, can you send that to me?). She showed me, and I was so blown away by the cellulite and fat that I couldn't look for the definition she was talking about. Is that unhealthy? I look in the mirror and admire the hell out of my waist, but cringe at the pouch (the one Sam calls the Kangaroo Pooch). Will that pouch ever go away?
I've become obsessed with staring at women's bodies, trying to define what IS normal in today's society, and for women my age. Although, for women my age, size 14 is average, and I don't want to be average. And most of the women my age I see on the streets have poor posture, extra pounds, or just look damn old. So I look to the younger ladies, but is that setting myself up for an unhealthy body image?
When is it going to be "good"? Really, I should be excstatic about the body I have today... but I'm still a size 10/12, and HAVE to get into the single digits. I'm also still at an "overweight" BMI, so I know that I still have to lose. Yet, as I was posting all those before pics on FB last night, I was so proud of where I am today... why isn't that enough? Why do I still obsess each week? Why do my emotions ride on that horrid little number?
And the most unfair of it all is that as I get closer to healthy, the weight will be harder to shed, and the stress level will rise. So unfair.
Speaking of the pics I posted on FB last night... Man, I love my husband. He came in as I was editing the posts on them and I'm so upset looking at them. I said to him, how come you let me out of the house like that? He says "how do you talk to a woman about her weight, there's no way to do it". And he's right. But I'm looking at those pics and seeing how happy I am and inside I'm thinking How the hell could I be so fucking happy when I looked so goddam horrible and fat and ugly and chinny and where the fuck are my eyes in all those rolls on my goddamn face how does THAT happen?
I know that sounds terrible, but I feel safe here telling you my inner thoughts, and I thank you for listening. It's just that I feel so incredible in my body today (outside of a couple of bad pockets of yuck) that it boggles my mind that I was OKAY with being so fucking huge. I was OKAY with it! In fact I was HAPPY. WTF??? I guess I can chalk it up to I never knew better. Because I was not a yoyo dieter, I never lost any, so never felt the sexy skinny, so didn't miss it. The last time I weighed this, I was 20. Yep, 20. Yeesh! How did I get so old?? But alas, that's another rant for another day.
Today's Fuel:
Br: leftover custard oatmeal w/ unsweetened applesauce (leftover cuz I stopped when satisfied yesterday YAY)
Lu: cabbage unrolls & milk
Sn: leftover swiss chard & yams
Sn: cottage cheese & fruit & ground flax
Dn: vegetarian chili & milk
Sn: popcorn
Water: 2L
AP: Yoga 50 min, walk the dog 30-60 min
Thanks for letting me ramble...
You know... I'm really looking forward to maintenance when I won't have this stress. And it's only less than 20 pounds away. Thank god!!! Not exactly sure what that magical number will be... I'm having a difficult time NOT seeing fat everywhere on my body.
On that note... Steve actually got pissed at me the other day for pointing out fatty bits. I think he's worried that I'll become anorexic, or get unhealthy or something. And I can see how it happens. Erica took a pic of my leg to show me the muscle definition (btw, Erica, can you send that to me?). She showed me, and I was so blown away by the cellulite and fat that I couldn't look for the definition she was talking about. Is that unhealthy? I look in the mirror and admire the hell out of my waist, but cringe at the pouch (the one Sam calls the Kangaroo Pooch). Will that pouch ever go away?
I've become obsessed with staring at women's bodies, trying to define what IS normal in today's society, and for women my age. Although, for women my age, size 14 is average, and I don't want to be average. And most of the women my age I see on the streets have poor posture, extra pounds, or just look damn old. So I look to the younger ladies, but is that setting myself up for an unhealthy body image?
When is it going to be "good"? Really, I should be excstatic about the body I have today... but I'm still a size 10/12, and HAVE to get into the single digits. I'm also still at an "overweight" BMI, so I know that I still have to lose. Yet, as I was posting all those before pics on FB last night, I was so proud of where I am today... why isn't that enough? Why do I still obsess each week? Why do my emotions ride on that horrid little number?
And the most unfair of it all is that as I get closer to healthy, the weight will be harder to shed, and the stress level will rise. So unfair.
Speaking of the pics I posted on FB last night... Man, I love my husband. He came in as I was editing the posts on them and I'm so upset looking at them. I said to him, how come you let me out of the house like that? He says "how do you talk to a woman about her weight, there's no way to do it". And he's right. But I'm looking at those pics and seeing how happy I am and inside I'm thinking How the hell could I be so fucking happy when I looked so goddam horrible and fat and ugly and chinny and where the fuck are my eyes in all those rolls on my goddamn face how does THAT happen?
I know that sounds terrible, but I feel safe here telling you my inner thoughts, and I thank you for listening. It's just that I feel so incredible in my body today (outside of a couple of bad pockets of yuck) that it boggles my mind that I was OKAY with being so fucking huge. I was OKAY with it! In fact I was HAPPY. WTF??? I guess I can chalk it up to I never knew better. Because I was not a yoyo dieter, I never lost any, so never felt the sexy skinny, so didn't miss it. The last time I weighed this, I was 20. Yep, 20. Yeesh! How did I get so old?? But alas, that's another rant for another day.
Today's Fuel:
Br: leftover custard oatmeal w/ unsweetened applesauce (leftover cuz I stopped when satisfied yesterday YAY)
Lu: cabbage unrolls & milk
Sn: leftover swiss chard & yams
Sn: cottage cheese & fruit & ground flax
Dn: vegetarian chili & milk
Sn: popcorn
Water: 2L
AP: Yoga 50 min, walk the dog 30-60 min
Thanks for letting me ramble...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Wednesday's Plan
Today's menu (again, planning as I'm writing so bear with me):
Br: oatmeal custard (milk, oatmeal, cinnamon oil, with an egg thrown in at the last minute)
Lu: ham & spinach salad wrap
Sn: cottage cheese, fruit, ground flax (0 pts for 1 tblsp)
Sn: carrots
Dn: steak & swiss chard
Water: 2l
AP: 1/2 hour stepping, dog walk, 50 minutes yoga
Br: oatmeal custard (milk, oatmeal, cinnamon oil, with an egg thrown in at the last minute)
Lu: ham & spinach salad wrap
Sn: cottage cheese, fruit, ground flax (0 pts for 1 tblsp)
Sn: carrots
Dn: steak & swiss chard
Water: 2l
AP: 1/2 hour stepping, dog walk, 50 minutes yoga
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday's Fuel
Hmmm... Planning as I write, so bear with me.
Br: Oatmeal
Lu: Wrap w/ ham, avocado, tomato, sprouts, brocslaw, mustard. (2pts)
Sn: cottage cheese, ground flax, strawberries
Sn: carrots
Dn: cabbage unrolls & salad
Sn: popcorn if I need it.
Protein - 3
Grains - 3
Freggies - 5
Oils - 3 (avocado, flax & oil on popcorn)
Okay, that looks good!
I sent out a link via email to a newsletter called "BrandAid". Really really informative. Right up my alley! If you didn't get it, google it if you are interested, or email me and I'll send you the link.
Br: Oatmeal
Lu: Wrap w/ ham, avocado, tomato, sprouts, brocslaw, mustard. (2pts)
Sn: cottage cheese, ground flax, strawberries
Sn: carrots
Dn: cabbage unrolls & salad
Sn: popcorn if I need it.
Protein - 3
Grains - 3
Freggies - 5
Oils - 3 (avocado, flax & oil on popcorn)
Okay, that looks good!
I sent out a link via email to a newsletter called "BrandAid". Really really informative. Right up my alley! If you didn't get it, google it if you are interested, or email me and I'll send you the link.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Today's Fuel
Br - oatmeal
Lu - fried egg sammich on WW bread w/ oily salad
Sn - plain yoghurt w/ ground flax & fruit
Sn - carrots
Dn - chicken burger w/ spinach salad
AP - walk the dog for an hour + 3 hours of dancing/stepping
Water - 2-3 litres
Lu - fried egg sammich on WW bread w/ oily salad
Sn - plain yoghurt w/ ground flax & fruit
Sn - carrots
Dn - chicken burger w/ spinach salad
AP - walk the dog for an hour + 3 hours of dancing/stepping
Water - 2-3 litres
Great Weekend!
Besides the plethera of amazing people and their amazing children that came on Saturday, I had an awesome food weekend!!
Most weekends are a write off for me, and I allow myself to oink on shit I shouldn't but wth, it's the weekend. This weekend I did amazingly well. In fact, the only thing I ate that wasn't core was alcohol and a couple of crackers and a couple of small tastes of Brie! And even then it was just nips out of a Crown Royal bottle (yes, Cindy, you've converted me) while I chugged water all night.
Yesterday I had two snack attacks. So I had two different flavours of popcorn! Then dinner I was craving a burger SO bad... I figured I must be craving protein. So I made myself a huge (for me) cottage cheese yummy dish. So satisfying and tasty. And emotionally/psychologically satisfying, too!
I'm very proud of me.
Most weekends are a write off for me, and I allow myself to oink on shit I shouldn't but wth, it's the weekend. This weekend I did amazingly well. In fact, the only thing I ate that wasn't core was alcohol and a couple of crackers and a couple of small tastes of Brie! And even then it was just nips out of a Crown Royal bottle (yes, Cindy, you've converted me) while I chugged water all night.
Yesterday I had two snack attacks. So I had two different flavours of popcorn! Then dinner I was craving a burger SO bad... I figured I must be craving protein. So I made myself a huge (for me) cottage cheese yummy dish. So satisfying and tasty. And emotionally/psychologically satisfying, too!
I'm very proud of me.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Yeah, BABY!!
Down 2.2!! Apparently that number is contagious, and I'm more than happy to have caught it... lol!
Today I was at my lowest yet. 146.8! That's a BMI of 26.8. Considering I was at 153.2 on Monday, I'm doing the happy dance, lemme tell ya.
Today I was at my lowest yet. 146.8! That's a BMI of 26.8. Considering I was at 153.2 on Monday, I'm doing the happy dance, lemme tell ya.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Today's Menu
B - 2 poached eggs, cottage cheese w/ grapes & cherries & ground flax seed (pts seeds)
L - hamburger spinach salad & couscous
S - yoghurt
S - carrot stix
D - Sashimi & Miso soup
S - popcorn
Water - 2-3 litres
AP - 1/2 hour step aerobics
- hour dancing
L - hamburger spinach salad & couscous
S - yoghurt
S - carrot stix
D - Sashimi & Miso soup
S - popcorn
Water - 2-3 litres
AP - 1/2 hour step aerobics
- hour dancing
NSV
So, I was checking myself out in the mirror last night. I don't usually do that in front of Steve. However, he caught me last night doing it, and he says "lookin good there, baby". I'm all like "what do you mean?" He comes over and points out DEFINITION. He says he can see definition starting on my abs! And best of all? He's started working it, too. He does a routine of sit ups and pushups now. He's done it twice this week. Plus he's joining me on my dog walks.
LOVE it!
LOVE it!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Best Dinner EVER
I fried the bejeebenies out of some hamburger & onions with a little oil (after draining it) and garlic powder. You know when you fry it so much, it's a little browned and crispy? Yum.
I sat in the garden and picked a bowl of spinach, and then learned how to harvest my cauliflower (which is SO sweet and delish!!). Back in the kitchen, I chopped up nice smaller bite size chunks of cauliflower, some avocado, and tomato.
Logan's wrap had meat & onions, ff Thousand Islands, fresh spinach & cauliflower.
Mine had meat & onions, avocado, tomato, fresh spinach & cauliflower.
SOOOO good!! The cauliflower adds a nice meaty chew to the sandwich, and the ground beef was so decadent tasting.
I sat in the garden and picked a bowl of spinach, and then learned how to harvest my cauliflower (which is SO sweet and delish!!). Back in the kitchen, I chopped up nice smaller bite size chunks of cauliflower, some avocado, and tomato.
Logan's wrap had meat & onions, ff Thousand Islands, fresh spinach & cauliflower.
Mine had meat & onions, avocado, tomato, fresh spinach & cauliflower.
SOOOO good!! The cauliflower adds a nice meaty chew to the sandwich, and the ground beef was so decadent tasting.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Merrit Mountain Music Festival. The jig is UP!!
What an AMAZING weekend! I feel rejuvinated, without a stress in the world. I went to bed at 7:30 last night and JUST woke up. Two solid days of drinking, dancing, and country music. Wow. Even our cousin Chantel, who is not a country fan, was dancing all night.
Wanna hear my weekend??? I'm gonna tell ya!
We left town at 3:30, hitting Starbucks & filling the gas (which when we broke it down between us ended up costing $18 each plus $5 each for toll... WOOT!!). We hit Chilliwack to find huge car accident that had happened at 1pm. Just before Vedder road, the traffic is crawling. But being the experienced commuter I am, I'm watching taillights. I realize that the ones AFTER the exit are not moving. Time to get off the number 1. Sam phones Andrew at home and asks him to mapquest how to get from the #1 to the #7 from Yale Road. He tells us (he's so fabulous!) and we are on our merry way. Beautiful drive through the country, then we get to Hope and we're off to Merritt!
We got up there 7:30, found our camping spot, realize we are less than two minutes away from the river. Niiiice. Set up camp takes 45 minutes, because Cindy bought the most skookum canopy I've ever seen. It folds out like an acordian. Sweet! Shade is our friend.
So we get all dolled up, and go hit the fairgrounds at about 9ish, and danced and danced and danced! We noodled back to camp, and Cindy says that she could hear them calling last call just before she fell asleep. We know it closed at 4:00am. Good long night!
Up at 8 because the sun does NOT let you sleep in! Fortunately, we don't wear watches up there so it's always a random time checking situation. Time for doghair! Mine this year was instant hazelnut coffee, with a scoop of coffee whitener, kalua & malibu. YUM!! Two of those to bring the blood alcohol level back up and I'm good to go! Go to the river, that is. We all get ourselves SPFed with the 50 stuff as a base and pack up our chairs, food, and booze and off we go. Cowboy hats and sunglasses & bikini's. I'll send you a pic later when I get them from Chantel (email me if you want)!
The river was... omg awesome! We were in it for about six hours. Laying in chairs, watching the wildlife (I love wildlife in cowboy hats, don't you?), drinking our faces off. Man I was HAMMERED in the river. I can't even begin to tell you how cathartic it is.
Back to camp for naptime. However, it turns out that even there I'm not a napper. So off I went for a drunken hike through the campgrounds. Then, in my brilliance I decide I need to climb the cliff, which has stairs cut into it. We did it last year and it was a huge feat to conquer (being 30 lbs heavier last year). I did it TWICE and felt FANTASTIC. And that was after dancing five hours the night before, having four hours sleep, and drinking for 24 hours straight! Yeah, baby!!
Back to camp and time to rouse the nappers. Dinner! And more alcohol. We meandered our way through eating, drinking, and getting ready for the party. Because Saturday night is the reason everyone is there. It's the motherload of parties.
Cindy and I were ready first and decided to go down to the fairgrounds and have a look around, maybe grab a bite. She had a hamburger, and I had a corndog that I bought from the most gorgeous boy... omg, he was so yummy. The corndog was, too! We realize that the party is about to start. Sarah Evans is onstage, and she is playing some pretty good dancing tunes. Looks like around 3000 are in the beergarden and it's starting to rock. Time to go wake the girls.
We get back to camp and Sam is ready to rock. Chantel is ready to lose her lunch. Her body is NOT liking the heat and dryness. She has been fighting naseau since we arrived. She goes to puke, comes back and says to go on without her. If she's feeling it, she'll join us, and if not, she'll just sleep. So after a few shots of crown with some cooler chasers, off we go!
Sam buys the best goddam $9 perogies she's ever had, lol. The energy returns, time to party!! Oh the dancing! Oh the drinking! Oh the fun!! It was probably around 10pm when we started dancing. Midnight, who should appear beside us on the dancefloor? Chantel!!! She woke up and felt better and came to join us! Awesome!!! And we danced and partied until the sun came up. Literally. The beer garden on Saturday night is the party to end all parties. After the concerts on the mainstage were done at midnight (they show them on a huge screen in the beer gardens), the live bands kick it up. Cindy's cousins LESTER were the first band and they ROCKED the house. The live bands stayed until 4:30, and then they just played tunes and we kept on dancing! It was about 6:30 when I finally made it back to camp.
Little bit of sleep, lots of water, and we packed er in. Loaded up the van and headed for Hope and the Home Restaurant. I had the best chef salad, a vanilla milkshake and coffee. omg it was SO good. Then headed for home. As soon as I got here, I cracked a cooler and unloaded the van.
I still have not unpacked a damn thing. My husband washed all my clothes... he's so awesome! I'm now so incredibly hung over I can't even tell you... water and sleep. Maybe laying in the sun and baking the alcohol out. Not sure.
Good times. This is the one weekend (formerly week) that I get to go out and spend quality time just being a woman. And this year it was a sexy woman who attracted a LOT of male attention. It was AWESOME!!! And it rejuvenates me so much. I think we all need to have that. That place where we can go and NOT be a wife or mother, but just be a woman, feeling like a woman. I cannot even begin to tell you what this weekend did for my self esteem. I feel like a hot, sexy bitch.
I like it! THE JIG IS UP!!!!
Wanna hear my weekend??? I'm gonna tell ya!
We left town at 3:30, hitting Starbucks & filling the gas (which when we broke it down between us ended up costing $18 each plus $5 each for toll... WOOT!!). We hit Chilliwack to find huge car accident that had happened at 1pm. Just before Vedder road, the traffic is crawling. But being the experienced commuter I am, I'm watching taillights. I realize that the ones AFTER the exit are not moving. Time to get off the number 1. Sam phones Andrew at home and asks him to mapquest how to get from the #1 to the #7 from Yale Road. He tells us (he's so fabulous!) and we are on our merry way. Beautiful drive through the country, then we get to Hope and we're off to Merritt!
We got up there 7:30, found our camping spot, realize we are less than two minutes away from the river. Niiiice. Set up camp takes 45 minutes, because Cindy bought the most skookum canopy I've ever seen. It folds out like an acordian. Sweet! Shade is our friend.
So we get all dolled up, and go hit the fairgrounds at about 9ish, and danced and danced and danced! We noodled back to camp, and Cindy says that she could hear them calling last call just before she fell asleep. We know it closed at 4:00am. Good long night!
Up at 8 because the sun does NOT let you sleep in! Fortunately, we don't wear watches up there so it's always a random time checking situation. Time for doghair! Mine this year was instant hazelnut coffee, with a scoop of coffee whitener, kalua & malibu. YUM!! Two of those to bring the blood alcohol level back up and I'm good to go! Go to the river, that is. We all get ourselves SPFed with the 50 stuff as a base and pack up our chairs, food, and booze and off we go. Cowboy hats and sunglasses & bikini's. I'll send you a pic later when I get them from Chantel (email me if you want)!
The river was... omg awesome! We were in it for about six hours. Laying in chairs, watching the wildlife (I love wildlife in cowboy hats, don't you?), drinking our faces off. Man I was HAMMERED in the river. I can't even begin to tell you how cathartic it is.
Back to camp for naptime. However, it turns out that even there I'm not a napper. So off I went for a drunken hike through the campgrounds. Then, in my brilliance I decide I need to climb the cliff, which has stairs cut into it. We did it last year and it was a huge feat to conquer (being 30 lbs heavier last year). I did it TWICE and felt FANTASTIC. And that was after dancing five hours the night before, having four hours sleep, and drinking for 24 hours straight! Yeah, baby!!
Back to camp and time to rouse the nappers. Dinner! And more alcohol. We meandered our way through eating, drinking, and getting ready for the party. Because Saturday night is the reason everyone is there. It's the motherload of parties.
Cindy and I were ready first and decided to go down to the fairgrounds and have a look around, maybe grab a bite. She had a hamburger, and I had a corndog that I bought from the most gorgeous boy... omg, he was so yummy. The corndog was, too! We realize that the party is about to start. Sarah Evans is onstage, and she is playing some pretty good dancing tunes. Looks like around 3000 are in the beergarden and it's starting to rock. Time to go wake the girls.
We get back to camp and Sam is ready to rock. Chantel is ready to lose her lunch. Her body is NOT liking the heat and dryness. She has been fighting naseau since we arrived. She goes to puke, comes back and says to go on without her. If she's feeling it, she'll join us, and if not, she'll just sleep. So after a few shots of crown with some cooler chasers, off we go!
Sam buys the best goddam $9 perogies she's ever had, lol. The energy returns, time to party!! Oh the dancing! Oh the drinking! Oh the fun!! It was probably around 10pm when we started dancing. Midnight, who should appear beside us on the dancefloor? Chantel!!! She woke up and felt better and came to join us! Awesome!!! And we danced and partied until the sun came up. Literally. The beer garden on Saturday night is the party to end all parties. After the concerts on the mainstage were done at midnight (they show them on a huge screen in the beer gardens), the live bands kick it up. Cindy's cousins LESTER were the first band and they ROCKED the house. The live bands stayed until 4:30, and then they just played tunes and we kept on dancing! It was about 6:30 when I finally made it back to camp.
Little bit of sleep, lots of water, and we packed er in. Loaded up the van and headed for Hope and the Home Restaurant. I had the best chef salad, a vanilla milkshake and coffee. omg it was SO good. Then headed for home. As soon as I got here, I cracked a cooler and unloaded the van.
I still have not unpacked a damn thing. My husband washed all my clothes... he's so awesome! I'm now so incredibly hung over I can't even tell you... water and sleep. Maybe laying in the sun and baking the alcohol out. Not sure.
Good times. This is the one weekend (formerly week) that I get to go out and spend quality time just being a woman. And this year it was a sexy woman who attracted a LOT of male attention. It was AWESOME!!! And it rejuvenates me so much. I think we all need to have that. That place where we can go and NOT be a wife or mother, but just be a woman, feeling like a woman. I cannot even begin to tell you what this weekend did for my self esteem. I feel like a hot, sexy bitch.
I like it! THE JIG IS UP!!!!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Shopping
So last night I had to do a bit of grocery shopping, and I was on the wrong end of town so I popped into Save-On. The main thing on my list was FF cottage cheese, and there are only two brands I love, Dairyland and Lucerne. Lucerne was way on the OTHER end of town. Dairyland it is!
Well first I discovered that Dairyland is almost a dollar cheaper! And it wasn't even on sale! Saved $4 right there.
My second discovery: Sam had mentioned Squirrely bagels. So here I am, standing in the bread aisle, looking for WW bagels. Damn... they don't carry them. But oh, look! There's Squirrely Bagels! NI Calories: 210, Fat 4, Fibre 8.4. Beside them is the same brand, but it's their Flax Seed Bagels. Hmm. My eye doctor had just given me a huge speech about how a study in Germany had found that Flax Seed had increased eye moisture in aging women (men, too, but I don't care about them, lol). I'm supposed to get more Flax in my diet. What's the NI? Calories: 200, Fat 2.5, Fibre 9. Even better!
I had one this morning, and they are so light and tasty! Not dense like bagels usually are. And when I plugged them into the calculator? 2pts!! The same as a WW bagel, but WhOOOOO HOOOOO better!!
I've even written to the company, I'm so impressed with their products.
Silver Hills Bakery... pass it on!
Well first I discovered that Dairyland is almost a dollar cheaper! And it wasn't even on sale! Saved $4 right there.
My second discovery: Sam had mentioned Squirrely bagels. So here I am, standing in the bread aisle, looking for WW bagels. Damn... they don't carry them. But oh, look! There's Squirrely Bagels! NI Calories: 210, Fat 4, Fibre 8.4. Beside them is the same brand, but it's their Flax Seed Bagels. Hmm. My eye doctor had just given me a huge speech about how a study in Germany had found that Flax Seed had increased eye moisture in aging women (men, too, but I don't care about them, lol). I'm supposed to get more Flax in my diet. What's the NI? Calories: 200, Fat 2.5, Fibre 9. Even better!
I had one this morning, and they are so light and tasty! Not dense like bagels usually are. And when I plugged them into the calculator? 2pts!! The same as a WW bagel, but WhOOOOO HOOOOO better!!
I've even written to the company, I'm so impressed with their products.
Silver Hills Bakery... pass it on!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
oh my GOD!!
... do my quads hurt!! I thought they were bad YESTERDAY. Today they are worse, and what's more, my glutes have decided they need to be heard, too.
I'm seeing a whole smurfload of A5-35 in my future, yes I am. Buy stock, people. I'm tellin ya.
Here's my menu today:
Br: Egg-el (WW bagel 2pts, egg white, ff cheese, 1/8 avocado, light mayo 1 pt)
Lu: crab, couscous, hot sauce, broccoli, glass of milk
Sn: cottage cheese & apple
Dn: roasted turkey thigh over salad
Sn: popcorn w/ healthy oil
I received an email about Splenda, from FormerFatGuy.com. I've been contemplating cutting it out of my life, and after reading that newsletter, I definately am. I cannot reasonably logic myself into poisoning my body when I'm working so hard to get healthy. Education is a dangerous thing... lol. It's one thing to live/eat/breathe in ignorance, but now that I have been educated, I just cannot bring myself to choose to continue ingesting it. It seems ridiculous to me.
Of course, it cannot necessarily be avoided completely. I will still want the occasional diet pop or whatever, but I'm not going to be having it in my tea or on my popcorn anymore. I'll need to find a healthier alternative. I'm leaning towards demorara (sp?) sugar, which seems to be the alternate of choice. Or honey where usable (definately not on popcorn, lol).
Here's my quandry... I have a ton of splenda left over. I'd hate to waste it, but I can't in good concious say "Hey Sis, I'm not poisoning myself with this shit anymore... want it?" LOL
I'm seeing a whole smurfload of A5-35 in my future, yes I am. Buy stock, people. I'm tellin ya.
Here's my menu today:
Br: Egg-el (WW bagel 2pts, egg white, ff cheese, 1/8 avocado, light mayo 1 pt)
Lu: crab, couscous, hot sauce, broccoli, glass of milk
Sn: cottage cheese & apple
Dn: roasted turkey thigh over salad
Sn: popcorn w/ healthy oil
I received an email about Splenda, from FormerFatGuy.com. I've been contemplating cutting it out of my life, and after reading that newsletter, I definately am. I cannot reasonably logic myself into poisoning my body when I'm working so hard to get healthy. Education is a dangerous thing... lol. It's one thing to live/eat/breathe in ignorance, but now that I have been educated, I just cannot bring myself to choose to continue ingesting it. It seems ridiculous to me.
Of course, it cannot necessarily be avoided completely. I will still want the occasional diet pop or whatever, but I'm not going to be having it in my tea or on my popcorn anymore. I'll need to find a healthier alternative. I'm leaning towards demorara (sp?) sugar, which seems to be the alternate of choice. Or honey where usable (definately not on popcorn, lol).
Here's my quandry... I have a ton of splenda left over. I'd hate to waste it, but I can't in good concious say "Hey Sis, I'm not poisoning myself with this shit anymore... want it?" LOL
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Not sure what was going to be for dinner tonight.
"not sure yet" ended up being Red Robins. Although, I have to admit, I did pretty damn good.
I ate:
- half of a cheese stick (ya, 1/2!!)
- a sip (literally) of banana milkshake (one taste tastes like the rest, I told myself)
- honey mustard chicken burger, but I took off the top bun which deleted the mayo, and ditched 1/3 of the bottom bun, too.
- five french fries
All together it was 16 points. Considering what it COULD have been? I'm totally happy with that.
I ate:
- half of a cheese stick (ya, 1/2!!)
- a sip (literally) of banana milkshake (one taste tastes like the rest, I told myself)
- honey mustard chicken burger, but I took off the top bun which deleted the mayo, and ditched 1/3 of the bottom bun, too.
- five french fries
All together it was 16 points. Considering what it COULD have been? I'm totally happy with that.
Ouchie, I'm sore!!
I gave myself a killer workout last night!! I ran for 10 minutes, then spent 20 minutes going back and forth on a soccer field. Side steps, skipping, and lunges. My quads are KILLING me!!!
Then I get home to find that the dogs still need their walk. Gah! That was the LONGEST walk around the block EVER!!
Oh boy, did I earn me a gold star on the calendar!
Then I get home to find that the dogs still need their walk. Gah! That was the LONGEST walk around the block EVER!!
Oh boy, did I earn me a gold star on the calendar!
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