Saturday Morning Musings

Did I even blog yesterday? I don't think I did... too busy. Fridays are always insane for me. Luckily I don't care. *grin*

I snapped a coupla pics, but then things went sideways towards a half a dark chocolate & almond bar and a half a peanut butter sandwich on white bread. Which, I have to say... not so great. Definately not a ten, but I was hungry so I ate it anyways.

Dinner last night, I didn't have time to hit Subway, so I ended up eating a bowl of wor wonton soup at my work. Jees, is that shit ever awesome. Silverhouse makes the BEST flavoured wonton. So yummy. And the wor wonton has four large succulent shrimps, about 3 oz of chicken breast meat, 8 wontons, one piece of bbq pork, and a swack of broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, carrots, onions and baby corn. All crisp and fresh. So delicious. I add soy sauce to my broth, because I like how it enhances the flavour. I DON't like how it enhances the scale.

Yesterday morning I weighed myself and I was at 147.4. I'm looking to hover between 145 - 148. So very pleased with my first week of learning to balance my new life of maintenance, and calorie balancing & excercising for longevity versus weight loss. Then I hopped on this morning, and I'm at 149.2. Sodium is not my friend.

My froat is sore. Dammit. I work so hard to not get sick. So when I do, I take it quite personally. This is day 2. And I feel worn right out this morning, too. I woke up at 3am, and just dozed all night after that. I don't know why I had such a hard time sleeping. I can't feel my throat as long as I breathe thru my nose, which I can do, don't swallow, and don't cough. Steve's snoring drove me insane. I hate that. Normally it doens't bother me, because he doesn't snore loudly, but just his deep breathing and light snoring when I can't sleep makes me want to punch him hard in the face. Repeatedly.

Today I hit the grocery store. Time to stock up on lunch stuff for the coming week, and plan out dinners and grab all that I need. Veggie store, for sure. So much cheaper than the grocery store. I love that we have a year round farmers market. Not everything is local, but everything is cheap. And I buy local if it's an option. I feel like I'm forgetting something that I wanted to get. I keep thinking I need to go to Costco, but I don't know what for. Maybe it will come to me.

Tonight I am having tea with my sister and my grandbabymomma. I'm really looking forward to hanging out and playing cards with them. I'm thinking I'm going to pick up a veggie tray so we have snackies.

It's funny... my mindset seems to have shifted over the last week. It's like... I don't want to indulge really, even though it is the weekend, because this is who I am. This is the way I eat. I am a healthy person, who eats healthy most of the time, excercises regularily, and does my best to maintain a great body internally and externally.

It's different because even two weeks ago I felt like someone who STRUGGLED to get healthy, who ate healthy in order to "get there", and who excercised to hurry the process of getting healthy.

Why was it suprising to me this week, when I worked my ASS off, and I didn't have muscle soreness? My muscles are strong. I am healthy. It shocked me. I know, weird, right? Two weeks ago I probably would have thought "I need to do a tougher workout", but this week I understand that I did work out hard. It shows in that I ate 500 more calories a day, and maintained my weight. Because I'm healthy, and I'm working to remain healthy.

I had a convo with one of my bosses, and she helped clarify the word maintenance and take the "bad word" aspect away for me. You see, I was freaked out by the word because to me it meant standing still vs being on a journey. I thrive on my journey. I love moving forward. Standing still means stagnating to me, and I was wigged right out by that. But Kerri said to me that she lives to maintain. She never wants to be unhealthy again, so she works a little bit each day to maintain where she is at. She hates when her house is clean, so she works a little bit each day to maintain it. Her whole life is around maintaining. This way she never has to work really hard at anything difficult. She just has to do a little bit every day. I was all like "huh". She says "losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, isn't it?" Yep. "Well, do you want to do that again?" Hells to the NO! So a little bit each day... it's not stagnant. It's not standing still, mired in the sameness. It's hovering and puttering forward to a life of longevity. THAT is what I can do.

So yes, I'll say it now. I am maintaining. And so far, I'm doing a damn good job of it. Thank god for NutriMirror. I tell you, when I tried maintaining on Core, I learned fast (well, in six weeks) that I cannot trust my body to tell me when it's had enough. But with still tracking my calories and nutritional intake, and my workouts, I am able to maintain very healthily. And I have allowed indulgences and stayed within my caloric budget. I ate mayo on a sandwich. I had a grilled cheese (damn you, you know who you are). I ate a chocolate bar. I had popcorn TWICE this week. And I maintained my weight.

Okay, I could probably keep blathering but I'll stop now. You need to get on with your day, and so do I.

You know how I sign off with "thanks for listening"? So you know, I really do mean it. While I don't necessarily write for you, I like knowing that someone out in the universe is listening to me. Ya'll may think I'm crazy sometimes. Hell, so do I. But the compassion I get in my feedback.... it really means the world to me. Especially when it's "thank god I'm not alone". LOL

Have a great Saturday.

And...

Thanks for listening,

Dee

AeroBoxed!!!

Holy CRAPPERS!!! I just had a WICKED workout!!! Seriously awesome, with sweat and noodley arms and legs and everything!!!! You want to really work your arms, legs, abs, and ass?? Do THIS workout.

This is the editorial review: You want a tough, advanced workout? Boxing aerobic workouts are hot for athletic cross-training, aerobic conditioning, and both upper- and lower-body strengthening. Boxing offers a good cross-training alternative to step and aerobic dance, which are all leg work. Michael Olajide Jr., 12-year boxing veteran and former World Middleweight contender, is the real instructor in this workout, assisted by Kathy Smith. Olajide first demonstrates the correct form of basic boxing moves such as jab, power punch, hook, and upper cut, which involve the whole upper body and the abs, not just the arms. Then he leads a killer-paced aerobic routine requiring stamina, strength, agility, speed, and coordination. The fast upper-body moves turn into whole-body boxing moves, both stationary and moving, that also work the legs, thighs, and buttocks. The cardiovascular workout is intense, fast, and relentless, designed for the experienced aerobic exerciser. Periodic jump-rope segments (which get progressively more difficult) add more legwork, aerobic intensity, and coordination. The cool-down slows things down somewhat but still contributes to a high-powered workout. Only during the stretch segment at the end do you get a chance to catch your breath. A knockout of a workout! (Warm-up: 9 minutes; boxing with jump-rope intervals: 30 minutes; cool-down: 11 minutes.) --Joan Price

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Rotten Kid, Good Eats, Wicked Workouts

Because of a rotten child (you know who you are) that has a love of music and no sense of personal property boundries, the camera batteries were dead for half the day. He takes my batteries OUT of the charger, charges his (which are actually MINE) and does he put mine back in? Nope, he lets em sit there, dead. So I take my breaky pic today, guess what? Batteries die. That's okay, off to the charger I saunter. Uh oh... batteries aren't in the charger. Put em in my camera. DEAD. Fucker. Yep, I said it. I said it about my kid. Those that don't know me are horrified right now. Those that do are laughing. When he reads this, he'll be laughing louder. Don't bother calling social services. I'm the coolest mom EVER. (see former pictures of different colour mohawks. :P)

So, I have a shot of Breakfast. It's 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/3 cup almond breeze, 25 grams prunes (cuz I like em, not for medicinal purposes :eyebrow wiggle:), a tablespoon each of PB2 and almonds. With milk and vitamins 388 calories.




Lunch was ... what was lunch? RIGHT! It was 3oz pork tenderloin with a cup of steamed cabbage and a half cup of couscous with a shot of soy sauce. About an hour before lunch I got growly, so I ate three ounces of imitation crab. All told 319 calories.

My snack will make most people wrinkle their nose... but it was actually good and hit the spot. And no, I'm not pregnant. I took three ounces of leftover garlic baked tofu, and served it on ancient grain crackers (they are Blue Menu and they are awesome!) with a smear of diet strawberry jam. I know! I told you it was weird!! But for 249 calories, I was a happy girl!

Dinner was yummers! I made Bison Chili (pound bison, half a large onion, can of corn, can of white kidney beans, can of black beans, throw in spices, voila 184 calories a cup) and served 1.5 cups of it on top of fresh spinach for EXTRA fibre goodness... lol. Top that with a couple tablespoons of Asiago and you have yourself a 344 calorie dinner!



So for the day I've had 1300 calories??? Holy shit! I'm down like... LOL 709 calories for the day... AND I've not logged my next workout. Shit. ... omg, so I logged only 30 minutes for my next workout, plus the walk I went on today, and I have over 900 calories left to eat for the day. Um, yeah. I don't think that's happening.

Unless.... popcorn? Maybe? ... We'll see.

Now on to the excercise... I have to tell you the FUNNIEST story! Michelle (my workout BUDDY!!!) bought DAMN I can never remember the name of it... I want to say Tae Bo, but it's not. Okay I called her, it's Turbo Jam. So we did both workouts on there, for a total of 35 minutes and while it was fantastic (I could feel my abs this morning!), we felt like it wasn't enough. So, we plugged in Jillian's Shred... Level 3. I said, if it's too much I'm not doing it, and Michelle says "I never quit". Lemme tell ya? After one (ONE) circuit, we both called Uncle with sweat POURING off us, DYING. There was no way, with our already worked out bodies that we were doing that shit. DONE!!! lolololol

I wandered home to indulge in some Amish cake and tea and company... it was so nice!

My girlfriend doesn't have VHS anymore so she came over to give me her collection. Woot!! And, fan-fucking-tastic, there are two STEP aerobics tapes in here!! I love love LOVE step aerobics! I got a step for Christmas but haven't found any workouts yet, so how happy was I? I did one at lunch today, and yes, it kicked my ass... but it felt sooooo good. The only thing is my step is really narrow, so it's hard to get both feet on it when it's long.



Okay, that's pretty much it for today. Time to go workout again! Then it's three days off. Aaaaah! Although, really, I should get a run or two in. I've really been slackin. Sun Run may be a little slower this year!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Stupidy Stupid Stupid.

Oo, fucking BOOOOOOO!!!!

Due to a classic case of PEBCAC (Problem Exhists Between Computer and Chair) I deleted all my damn pictures for today! BOOOOOOOO!!! Things that make my eyebrows do this *points to brow, scrunched up in pissed off fashion*.

That'll teach me to multi task. You would think. Probably not, though. Fuck.

Sigh.

I had such good pics today, too.

Well, I took a couple of pics just now.

Logan with the blue in his hair.

And I found a wonderous snack! Now okay, normally I do not promote processed foods... but it IS getting near PMS time. Which sends me on the hunt for dark chocolate. Well this here is called Praeventia, and the flavour is Cranberry & Pomegranate with Red Wine Extract. AND they are coated with dark chocolate that is 70% cocoa. Um, hellllooooooo!!! Dark chocolate & Red Wine in chewy goodness??? MINE! MINE MINE MINE!!!! *pant pant pant*

Ingredients: Whole Rolled Oats, Agave Nectar (natural sweetener, not chemical!!), Dark Chocolate (insert stuff here for chocolate coating) whole oat flour, chicory root inulin, dehydrated cranberries, and the list goes on from there and it's not SO scary. There is a bit of fructose/glucose, but it's way at the bottom. For 100 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 25 mg sodium, 18 g carbs, 4 g fibre, I'll take it at PMS time. Yep yep I will.

One more thing... since I'm pissing and moaning. I had the BEST dinner of leftover pea soup and grilled cheese sandwich. I'm talking a fantastic grilled cheese... except that I couldn't stop thinking of a certain someone's ex while I was eating it!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, ROT IN HELL FOR EVER TELLING ME THAT JOKE YOU FUCKEN FUCK!!!!

Just as well, I suppose, considering how unhealthy grilled cheese is. Still... you decide to treat yourself, and all you can picture is THAT. Harumph.

*rubs eyebrows so they don't stay like that*

Biggest Loser RANT!!

Okay, seriously? WTF?? Black had NO dignity in that win last night. None.

As I was watching them make bad decision after bad decision, I'm shaking my head and discussing it out loud with my son about WHY this is such a bad decision (anything to turn it into a life lesson on health, hee hee), and I'm thinking "Jillian is going to KILL them". And sure enough, how pissed was she?? Sure the team was upset because she made them feel jeuvenile... but come on, like they didn't DESERVE it? They are there for a purpose. She is their trainer. It's her JOB to make sure they understand their decisions. She cannot succeed without their cooperation. I thought she had EVERY right to be as pissed as she was. ESPECIALLY once I saw the whole "we're not telling" bullshit. I mean, if you are going to be a grown up and make a decision, man up! Own it! Don't hide it. That PUTS her in the mom position.

Steve actually said to me that he has heard that same speech from me, the one she was giving them at the table the morning they got back. Yep. But it's a very similar relationship she has with them. Definite paralells between parent and child and trainer and trainee. Both are guiding and teaching and coaching and encouraging, with the occasional stern lecture when needed.

However, Sionne was right to call Jillian on the training issue. I feel (mind you this is ONLY based on moments seen on television, and not necessarily a fair assumption) that Jillian has not engaged 100% in those boys. She knows how strongly they felt about leaving Bob and I don't think she really worked to get their trust. If she had, Sionne wouldn't have exploded on HER about trust. The fact that she let them go back to Bob without a fight, with the whole "I don't have to deal with them anymore" spoke volumes to me. She abandoned them from the moment she got them, imo.

And then the black team wins the challenge. That was so incredibly unfair. I mean, yes it was fair according to the numbers, but the only reason I think Mike did well is because he's not of age to drink, so he couldn't have taken part of the frivoloties, which is why Black had the extra point. That and that +2 from Mandy. Wasn't THAT a shocker!!!

Either way, there was no dignity in that win.

Okay, rant over.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Tuesday! BL Day! Happy Food Dance Day!

Tuesday, and you know what thaaaaaaaaaaat means! P*O*P*C*O*R*N!!!!! Steve says to me "you think Biggest Loser will be a to-be-continued again tonight?" to which I replied with eyes THIS BIG "it better fucking NOT be"!! Bastard... thinks he's funny... mumble mumble grumble.

When I was out the other day, I was thinking of my poor teenager, heartbroken at home. And I know that the cure to heartbreak is new hair (am I right, or am I right??). So I bought him these little packs of coloured hair gel. Sure enough, it cheered him up! He used the red today, so I snapped a pic:



Super vibrant, huh? I'm uber impressed with that stuff! I also got him blue and green. We'll see which ones look best on him. I do like the red, but I'm betting blue will be my favourite.

I gotta get to the eats. BL is coming on and I need to make P*O*P*C*O*R*N!!!!

Breakfast was 1/3 cup porridge, 1/3 cup almond breeze, (I hope ya'll assume the 1/3 cup water), 30 grams of chopped prunes, and 1/8 of a cup of egg white thrown in at the end and stirred up for a custardy feel to the porridge. Throw a tablespoon of toasted almonds on top, serve with milk and vitamins, and there you have 369 calories.




Lunch was my ever so yummy pea soup, served with a pita filled with 3oz crab, 30 grams of black olives, and a handful of sprouts. 504 calories




Snack was one of my all time favourites. Asian pear smothered in 2 tablespoons of PB2 for 104 calories of yummy goodness.

Dinner was freakin AWESOME!! I had browned the outside of a pork tenderloin, then chopped an onion into big pieces. I put the onion in the bottom of the crock pot, threw the braised pork roast on top, and squirted in some horseradish mustard (not a lot). I deglazed the pan with a bit of shiraz and poured it onto the roast (probably about an 1/8 of a cup). I let that badboy cook in the crockpot all afternoon. It literally fell apart when it was done. I made broccoli and threw two packs of mushroom gravy mix into 1.5 cups of water, and made gravy. Into that gravy went two tablespoons of fat free cream cheese. Seriously, that makes the gravy. Freakin awesome. 444 calories

And now I go make popcorn. Not PMS popcorn tonight. I'm craving salty, without the sweet. I wish I had some Frank's. That would really hit the spot with my popcorn tonight. Ah well...

Total calories for the day: 1992

Workouts today? Well, I did two miles in 28 minutes, took the dogs for a 45 minute walk, and did 50 minutes of turbo jam. I do believe I earned the right to sing the BL song, wouldn't you say??

Have a great night,

Dee

Monday ... in so many ways.

Well, I guess I can say it on here now... when I went to the doctor's on Wednesday last week, he told me that the spot on the end of my nose is skin cancer. It's totally easy to get rid of, but still, to be hit with "that word" was mindswirling, to say the least. At least I had all the dietary issues to focus on until I could face saying "I have skin cancer". I called my doctor's office today to find out if an appointment was made yet for me with the platic surgeon, but I missed the person that does that. Now I have her name and what time she'll be in tomorrow.

So this is why I took Thursday and Friday off, which allowed me to go insane in my posting, and blog away that insanity and really find myself and where I am on this journey through life.

Which brings us to Monday. Monday has been a day of catch up. I had so much work to catch up on... nuts. But I'm done, most of it. The rest has to be spread out over the next few days, as it's calling hours that I need to catch up on. That can't be done at night. Plus there are a few admin things that someone else dropped the ball on, so I have to wait on them before I can do MY catch up. I hate that.

The good news is that even though I was mindfucked, I was still watching my intake... mostly. I ate well over 80 % of the time, which to me is a success. I ended up calling it binge last night, when out of having the stress munchies I ate a baggie of apple cinnamon cherios and a granola bar. *shrug* Coulda been worse. But it put me over my caloric budget, and technically it was a chosen binge. Recognize it for what it is and move on.

Which brings me back again to Monday. Day of new beginnings! I realized that every thing I ate today came with or out of a bowl. Huh.

Breakfast: Oatmeal made with almond breeze, banana and pineapple, with PB2 and chocolate chips and toasted almonds on top. Served with milk and vitamins. 402 calories



Lunch: leftover buffalo burger with 2 tablespoons asiago cheese melted on that Burger First whole wheat bun, then sprinkled with garlic powder. Served with a bowl of ham & pea soup I crock potted over the entire weekend, draining off all the fat overnight in the fridge for easy scooping. It is soooo good I had two servings (thus the large bowl). 754 calories





Dinner was more soup (told you it was good) with a pita stuffed with imitation crab, seafood sauce and alfalfa sprouts. 463 calories




Doh! I totally forgot to take a pic of snack. That was a whole banana, 1/2 cup pineapple, 1/2 cup plain fat free yogurt and 1/4 cup flax granola. 297 calories


So, on track, planned, eating to plan. Two workouts today. One yoga, and I'm about to put 40 minutes towards circuit training. I'm actually looking forward to it because my feet are so damn cold. Need to get that circulation pumping!!


Thanks for listening,

Dee

VPC Sushi Date (and other eats)

Ahhh, Sunday. I love Sunday! Today was especially excellent, because I had a lunch date with the VPC. That's the Vancouver Points Club, which is the name of the Lower Mainland's Weight Watchers Group. A fantastic group of folks! I met them a year ago, when they introduced me to sushi... and it's been a love affair ever since! With the sushi. I mean, the group is cute and all, but... LOL!

Because I knew I was going to be eating good yummy stuff, I decided to go with a light breakfast. Oatmeal with PB2, almonds and banana, with my milk and vitamins.



Then lunch. It was incredible! I can't remember the name of the damn restaurant, but it was at 2991 Lougheed Hwy. Why do I remember that? Because I couldn't find it! Where it sits is actually beside Best Buy in PoCo, but it's technically part of the Pinetree Village. So even though it's nowhere NEAR Lougheed, it's still the address. Anyways, it was 11.95 for all you can eat... and we ate!

Here is my place setting, with my miso soup, that noodley lemon stuff, my tea and my favouritest part of sushi, the wasabi/soysauce mix! Love love LOVE that flavour!!

At my end of the table was the dumplings, which I didn't have!

Then there was the sashimi, nigiri, terriyaki chicken, and sushi rolls. FANTASTIC!!! I ate some of each. And, I'm proud to say, I didn't have ANY tempura, and I ate until I was SATISFIED, not stuffed. Woot! Go me!!

It was awesome seeing Al again (we met once, last year for the inaugral sushi gathering), and meeting Tanya! I love meeting people I feel like I know!

Amber, Tamie, and Angi rounded out our gathering, and it was such fun! These people are seriously depraved... my kinda people! Kinda boo that Angi is moving back home to Ontario...

And of course, it wouldn't be a VPC gathering if Tamie didn't get all kercited and spill all over herself. This is her "cupid shaped, hummingbird heading for the goodies" stain. LOLOL

Now when I got "lost", I parked by Starbucks... so you know I haaaaad to go and grab myself a treat! Grande Skinny Caramel Decaf Americano Misto. Mmmmmmmm, dessert in a cup!

Dinner tonight was a buffalo burger on a whole wheat Burger First bun, with dijon mustard, dill pickles and spinach. Yum! Side salad of spinach and baby greens with some light ranch.

And now my hubby is waiting on me to come and watch tv with him. Snuggle time is the BEST way to end a weekend, isn't it?

Have a great week! Is yours all planned? Mine is!

Thanks for reading,

Dee

MEN!!! HARUMPH!!!!

I spent the night on the couch last night... why? Cuz Oscar Meyer Weinerdog was a sick little puppy. Barfing and butt going at the same time. Kennel was NOT an option. But why was I on the couch? Why not the owner of the dog, you ask?

Cuz men can't HEAR a baby crying. They can SLEEP right through it.

Bastards.


Dee

Health Food Imposters

Click here.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Getting Back on Track... and Not.

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Define Normal. (Part 2... read the post before this first)

Okay, I just got off the phone with my mom.

I go to her for what people go to me for. Reality check. You see, I never know if I am actually right, or if I've justified and argued and conVINCED myself that I'm right.

So... we had a huge talk about "normal". We talked about my bone structure. We talked about my weight. We talked about my measurements. We talked about my journey. We talked about my goals. We talked about my language.

She told me last year that she thought I was done. I didn't listen. When I freaked out and mindfucked myself when I hit 145, Sam told me I was done. I didn't listen. When anyone looked shocked when I said I wanted to lose more, I didn't listen.

Why didn't I listen? Because what the hell do they know? I have educated myself out the whazoo when it comes to diet, excercise, nutrition, weightloss, etc. I know numbers, BMI's, all sorts of stuff. I am WAY more educated (in my own mind) than they are, so how can they POSSIBLY be right. They don't know me. They don't know my body. They don't know my numbers. They don't know.

But my doctor does. He's more educated than I am. So him telling me to be done? That's like you jogging along a path... you are jogging, jogging, jogging, having a good time, tra la laing in your head, jogging, feeling your body, learning your body as a jogger when BAM. Wall. Someone who knows more than you slams a wall in front of you and says DONE. You are no longer a jogger.

So what the fuck am I??? PANIC!!!!!!

Normal. Mom and I got really deep into the normal debate. And it comes down to defining normal. And to WHOM normal is being defined. I'm talking to her, and staring at the pics below of my ribcage. And I'm talking about smaller clothing sizes. I say to her "there's no fat on my ribs, because I can count my ribs, so obviously, no fat" and she says, "right, so if you put on a smaller size, where the hell are you going to put that ribcage?"

I have a large ribcage. Always have. Sam and I fit into the same tops. Why? She has huge bazombas and I have a wide back. It balances out, and we fit the same size tops even though we are shaped completely different. I had to look at the practicality. The practicality of clothing sizes. Tops are always going to be bigger because of my ribcage, not because of fat. Pants are always going to be bigger because I have a hippy bone structure. Not because of fat. I have extra skin that will squish out the top if I wear too small. It's a muffin top, but it's actually NOT fat, it's all the skin that held an extra 60lbs on my body. THAT is my reality.

I have always been a reality based person, so I needed to be slapped upside the head by the two people that actually know my reality better than me. The doctor, who has the education, and my mother, who's body is exactly like mine. Even when she was too skinny, at 98 pounds with an 18 inch waist, she still had a large ribcage and large hip measurment. That is our bone structure.

Okay, I am slowly wrapping my head around the fact that normal is different for every person. And I am normal... for me. I have a great shaped body, that is fit and healthy. The only thing is that there is a swack of extra skin. Without a tummy tuck, that's not something I can do something about. It is what it is. It is reality. It's my normal.

Mom says to me " you are never going to be normal, you are always going to be better". Okay, she's my mom, she has to say that. But then she asks me, "how many women your age do you see that are as healthy as you?" Practically none. "How many are as shapely as you?" Practically none. Go out in public and look at all the women in the malls, in the grocery stores. Really look. I know a few shapely, in shape women, but not at my age, and not as healthy as I am working to be. Not a lot, anyways. To which mom asks "so you want to be normal?? You want to be like everybody else?" Huh. No.

I have a different normal. So do you. And you. And you.

I have to let go of my BMI. I have to let go of smaller clothing. I have to find a new goal. A new path to jog on. Strength training? What does that really mean? I've never looked beyone "getting healthy". Okay, I'm here now... now what? Keep doing what I'm doing? Where will that take me? Do I need to have a goal? I think so. The word "maintaining" freaks me the fuck out. It signifies the end of the journey. I don't WANT the journey to end, because it's been a great positive goal for me. I need a new journey. One not based on weight loss.

Maybe I need to journey to a place of deeper understanding of health. A deeper education about fitness. I've got the nutrition stuff down pretty good. Maybe the next phase of my life will be about building endurance, strength, speed, who knows?

You know what? Mom lambasted me. She said to me "you've done it. You are there. Congratulations, honey, you did it. I'm so proud of you." I had such a lump in my throat I couldn't even talk.

I did it. I'm there. I'm healthy. I'm slender (with excess skin). I. Did. It.

I will never be normal. Normal in our world, here in North America, is overweight. Size 14 is the average. I'm between and 8 and a 10 (the odd 12, but it really depends on the brand). That is well below normal.

I'm not normal. I'm better than normal.

Whoa.

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Is it over? Is that it? Am I ready??

I've taken the day from work, because my mind is swirling around and around. There was one aspect of my doctor's appointment that I need to literally just blog about. This post is not thought out... it's not going to be perfect. I'm letting my feelings and thought pour out of my fingertips. It may not be pretty. That's your warning.



So I went in to the doctors and we were talking about my weight loss. He asked me questions and recorded everything in my file:


What did you use?
Year 1 - Weight Watchers.


And what did you lose?
40 lbs


And then?
Year 2 was on my own, and I lost another 21 pounds. (his eyebrows shot up)


At this point I handed him my printout from NutriMirror, and my list of vitamins that I take daily. He took the time to really look at it, which I thought was awesome. Not just a cursory glance. I like my doctor, because I feel that he is in it for the patients, you know what I mean? He really takes his time, and I've never ever felt rushed with him. Even when I see him at the clinic. He is 100% engaged in your appointment.


Whoo, tangent #1!


Anyways, he looked everything over and was pleased with what he saw. He asked about my eating an average of 1481 calories a day over the last week. Was I satisfied with that? Oh yes! I eat really well. What about workouts? I told him about my four days a week of heavy working out and three days off. Again, pleased. In fact, what he said was that he should have me talk to some of his other patients. I told him I'd be happy too, but I don't think he was serious.


So we are going over everything, he's asked and recorded all the relevant questions. I'm 5'2", and I weigh 147 pounds, and this is what he says:

I think you should stop losing now.

Radio silence. I literally could not speak. My mind just completely STOPPED. Um... what? What? WHAT??? As my mind kicked back in, in kicked back into overload. Swirling, questions, comments, screaming, what? what????

So what did I do? I started arguing with him. I threw numbers and statistics at him. I talked BMI, weight charts, muffin tops. I grabbed the skin and fat hanging over my belt and shook it at him! *hangs head now, thinking about that*

In a completely reasonable tone, but talking fifteen million miles a minute I explained to him that my BMI is still saying overweight. He asked what my BMI is, and I told him that it is in the high 26's, because of course I couldn't remember SHIT what it was exactly with my brain reeling. He literally cocked an eyebrow at me. I mean seriously, he looked at me like I was a precocious child. Oh look, isn't she cute, acting all grown up. He tried telling me that this was not high. I sputtered "but it's still overweight". Again, his eyebrows shot up, he was suprised.

Side note, now that I think about it, dude has uber expressive eyebrows! I think that's another reason I like him... he communicates well with his features.

So I obviously was not winning that fight, so I moved on to this: Well, in reality, I'm only losing .6 to .8 pounds a week, so it's not a lot of weight. To which he replied, "actually, yes it is".

What? What? WHAT???? I'll come back to this. I couldn't wrap my head around it at the time, but I did later, with the help of talking it out with Michelle, Sam and Magda (I love my peeps, seriously... they let me ramble and poke in comments that help me to sort and file my thoughts and allow new perspectives. I don't know what I'd do without them.)

Okay, next arguement was to grab the flab and wave it at him. Gah! Great arguement, huh? Meanwhile, looking back now, I think of the dvd workout I watch and dude, I seriously WATCH their abs. I have a thing for abs. And when they are sitting, doing their stretching, those "abs" dunlop over their pants. And they are HOT. So seriously, is this a good arguement? *shakes head* And of course, later as I'm sitting on Michelle's floor, talking to her about this particular segment, I grab the flab and I'm looking at it, and I'm realizing... it's mostly skin. Not really a lot of FAT. Mostly just excess skin. Michelle looked me up and down that night and said "I don't think you are fat at all, I think now it's just a matter of toning what you have, and it will all come together for you".

In fact, now that I think about it, if I were to have a tummy tuck, and tighten that bad boy, I wonder how much weight it would take off. 4 maybe 5 pounds? Hmmm... there is an interesting thought. Because when I stand naked in the mirror, and turn sideways.... at this point I realize that I have the technology to show you exactly what I'm talking about.

So, as you can see, you can see my ribs. On fat people, you cannot usually make out ribs. This leads down to pretty damn slender, under the ribcage, which then leads down to the "apron" (goddamnfuckingkids). This is where I have the hardest time losing weight. That and bra fat, but I'm not even going to GO there. Huh... mainly cuz when I think about it, it's probably mostly skin, too. Damn. Anyways, here is the pic:

Now, to illistrate what I'm now discovering about myself, I grab the flab. (don't worry, I'm not waving it at you... apparently that's just okay to do to the doctor) As you (and I) can see, I can pull it up and hang onto it. But is it fat? Am I still overweight? Who decides that?

Sam raised a good point. As I was rambling to her, I said "I wanted to achieve a healthy body". And she comes out with "well, if you said that to him, and he's looking at you, he's telling you, you've achieved that, so you can stop trying for it. You are there." Then Magda tells me that as she's listening to me, she's not REALLY worried, but that I should watch for signs of eating disorder in myself... because there are a few little niggler signs that I could head in that direction if I'm not careful.

Hell, I KNOW that!! That's what my whole freaking out has been about since I got home from the doctors. Because I don't WANT to stop yet. I'm not THERE yet. Mag says "when is 'there' for you?". Fuck.

And then it all boiled down to one thing. BMI. My BMI says that I am still overweight. And all I want is to be normal. That's it. Normal. It's all I want. I've been overweight my entire life, except for a three month extremely unhealthy period of drugs and SlimFast shakes before I got pregnant with Doug.

Magda called me on it. "What's Normal?" I spouted off the BMI numbers. Off we went on a tangent again, and then it comes out again. I just want to be normal. Magda, under her breath "there you go with that normal word again". She's right. And I know, logically, that the BMI is not an exact science. I know that shorter women have a higher BMI than tall women. I know that muscular people, athletes and body builders have a higher BMI but are not fat. I know that.

But here's the crunch, and I know I keep coming back to it. I just want to be normal. But what does that mean to me really? If I were to open THAT can of worms... it is so much more than my weight. I've always described myself as marching to the beat of my own drum. Although I've recently changed that to tuba, because most people march to the beat of their own drum, and I love celebrating that I am different. I talk about how when I met my mom, I finally found out why I am so different than everyone else... I'm like her. We do not classify ourselves as normal. That's a good thing, in our world, cuz normal people are either boring or completely fucked up. And who wants to be either of those??? We attract others who are spectacular vs normal, which is why the people who are in my life ARE in my life. Then there is my childhood. It wasn't normal. It was a complete and total mindfuck being raised by a Stay At Home Alcoholic. Not normal. Having a kid at 17. Not normal. People always comment about it. Usually in the positive, at how I'm so amazing. Again, though... not normal. I have two kids from two different fathers, and I'm married to neither one. Not normal. Dysfunction that turned into something spectacular. Fantastic, but not normal.

It's funny, all the "not normal"s are great, or turned out great, for the most part. I was able to put the bad stuff behind me, and move on to become a well balanced person who has a fantastic life, is surrounded by fantastic people, has an amazingly large support group, both in real life and online of people who genuinely care, which I don't know is normal.

So maybe all this is why I just want one, just ONE area of my life where I am normal.

I don't want to be a member of the heifer cankle herd anymore. I want to be normal.

I'm scaring myself.

I used to say I want to be healthy. But I am healthy. When did this shift happen? When did my goal change? When did the number start really meaning so much to me? I've always talked the talk.

When I got to 145 last time, I went through this same mindfuck, but it was based on my own insanity. Today it's based on my doctor's comment. And I'm still reeling. I just don't know what to do.

Okay, let's go back to this. He said ".6-.8 pounds IS a lot of weight". I couldn't wrap my head around that, because I have had the mantra ".5 - 2 lbs a week is a healthy weight loss" stuck in my head. But then, it was pointed out to me that at weight fat, this IS a healthy weight loss. But at weight healthy? Maybe not so much. Mag and I are obviously both bad at math, but we got our point across to each other (mainly her to me) that at over 200 pounds, a two pound loss was probably a close percentage to what a .6 loss is to a 147 pound body. Okay, I'm going to try to do the math...

Damn, I love google... You don't have to do ANYTHING yourself. Here's the formula:

((IW-AW)/IW) * 100= weight loss percentage

So:

((208-146)/208) * 100 = 29.8% of my body weight I've lost. Woot!! Okay, but that wasn't the question, that was just for fun. Onto the science...

((208-206)/208) * 100 = .96% Two pound loss at 208lb start weight.

((146-145.2)/146) *100 = .54% .8 pound loss at 146lb start weight.

Hmmm... I'm making a case in my favour...

((146-144)/146) * 100 = 1.37% Two pound loss at 146lb start weight.

((146-144.5)/146) * 100 = 1.02% 1.5 pound loss at 146lb start weight.

You know, I'm looking at these numbers and I'm thinking... it's small decimal points. Wee fractions of what? But let's put it in perspective here... butter. Picture this in not numbers, but bricks of butter. Although, I'd like to know if human fat is equivelant to a pound of butter in size and mass. Okay, google is not giving me results. Anyone know any science that answers that?

So, looking at two pounds lost at 208 vs 146, thinking in pounds of butter, yes, there is a huge difference between just under a brick, and one and a third brick. So I guess if you look at it that way, yes, losing .6 to .8 lbs a week IS a large loss.

Hmm. I have to chew further on that one. That's going to take a while to wrap my head around. I've been striving for that two pound loss for weeks, and have been sorely disappointed at not achieving it, even when I was 24 days OP. But if I'm not truly overweight, my body is finding it harder to find two pounds to spit out. So it's taking little bites of little fat stores under lots of skin, and ptooing it out a little at a time? Hmmmm. Interesting.

Also, I wonder how much muscle mass I'm accumulating with my working out? I know I'm getting stronger. I know I've gained inches in my arms, thighs and bum (yay!), so that tells me there is muscle growing. I didn't take that into account.

You know what? I've got to stop focusing on my "spots". My bra overlap, which I fucking hate with every fiber of my being. My tummy skin/fat that will probably never go away. I mean really, this skin on my body held 208 pounds. It's held over 180lbs for over 20 years. How can I expect it to be all taught and firm?

Am I on the quest for perfection? No. That's healthy. Am I on the quest for normal. Yes. That may be unhealthy.

Thought tangent on this: I was having a convo with Jaimie at work. We were talking about bathing suits (horrors) and I was explaining to her how when I was fat, I was not self concious, but NOW? Totally subconcious. She (skinny little thing that she is and always has been) couldn't wrap her head around it, so I was trying to explain it to her, which actually helped clarify it in my own head. You see, as a fat chick, I looked good for a fat chick! But now? I don't look good for a fat chick, cuz I'm not fat. But I don't look great for a skinny chick cuz I'm not skinny, either. So I'm much more concious of the blurbles of body deposit now, because I don't fall into either category.

Which brings me full circle back to... I just want to be normal.

I look fanTAStic for a former fat chick. I have done an amazing job, and I've worked hard to achieve a healthy body, the healthy way, over a long period of time. I am strong, and athletic. I'm healthy in every aspect... except my BMI and clothing size. Yeah, I said it. Clothing size.

I don't WANT to be in the double digits EVER. Right now, I still bounce between and 8 and a 12 depending on the article of clothing. Some things I fit small, some medium, and some still large. I hate large. I don't want to be a large girl. I've worked two fucking years to not be a large girl. I just want to lose enough to be a medium or small girl who fits in only single digit clothing sizes. THAT is my enough. And THAT would put me in the normal range of the BMI. And why is THAT wrong?

Maybe it's wrong because we aren't talking fat, but excess skin. All over my body, not just my tummy. I was fat everywhere.

Sigh.... I don't know. I'm still swirling. But I'm a little more clear. I just need to wrap my head around this stuff. I need to rethink my body, my values, my everything.

But I can't help this... the little voice in the back of my head... "I just want to be normal".

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Yellow Seems to be the Colour of the Day

I'm looking at my pictures and I'm thinking... all my food is yellow! Look at my vitamins, even!

I went to the doctor's today, but I'm not ready to talk about it. It was 95% positive, but there is another 5% I need to chew on. I will get back to you on that.

On to the foods...

Breakfast was a break from the McMuffin. I needed fruity goodness, so I had a 1/3 cup oatmeal, 1/3 cup almond breeze, 1/4 banana, and a half cup of pineapple, plus a tablespoon of toasted almonds, milk and vitamins for a total of 342 calories.



And just in case you didnt' believe me, yup, every day, that camera comes out and Morgana flys for the door. God FORBID someone should take a picture of that dog. Seriously. What a diva.



Lunch was uber yummy. The typical 2oz of greens, only I added baby spinach to them. Anyone that knows me knows that I have issues with eating weeds. I used to find them extremely bitter and hate hate hated them. Well, since my taste buds have changed, I can eat them now, especially since I know they are good for me. But those frilly ones... they are a little much. And for some reason, there was a lot of them in this bin, so I added the spinach to stretch them out. Today I added my 20 grams of olives, plus four grape tomatoes, 10 grams of blue cheese, 1/4 cup of craisins, and 2 helpings of curry chicken burger. Okay, 1 and a 1/2 helpings... I ate the other half, plus four more tomatoes before my noon hour workout. Instead of dressing I put in two tablespoons of salsa for a total of 415 calories.

Okay, so remember how I was saying the other day that I giggled to myself about how I set up my plate of salad super pretty, then clicked the camera and dumped it all in a mixing bowl? Well, I took a picture of it, today... Not as pretty, but mmmmmm good!

Snack... Oh deliciousness that is snack. A banana, a cup of pineapple, a half cup of fat free plain yogurt, and a 1/4 cup of Nature's Path brand Pumpkin Flax Granola. Oh so good for 335 calories.

Dinner was not the prettiest I've ever seen... lol. I made couscous, and flavoured the water with jalapeno sauce, worcestershire, and a dash of soya. I slow roasted a cut of turkey thigh, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, an orange pepper and a yellow pepper, and an onion in the oven for 2 hours. Not pretty, but so healthy and good tasting. 462 calories.

That's 1553 calories for the day. I tell ya, I'm earning them, with the Shredding I'm doing!!

Okay, I may be on later... maybe not. I have to talk to some people first before I post on here.

Have a lovely evening all!

Thanks for listening,

Dee

Shredding that Ass!!

Michelle has today off, so we are on a mission! We did level one of the Shred at lunch and we are going to do both levels two AND three tonight! EEEEEEEEEK!!!

I'm very excited.

I'm just waiting for the clock to hurry the fuck up so I can go to the doctor. I have a printout from NutriMirror to show my daily nutritional intake over the last week (damn, I'm good!), a list of the vitamins I take, and a list of things I want checked. I am ready... as long as I dont' forget that piece of paper... lol.

I'll be back later with my foods. Cuz we all love foods.

Hey, that reminds me! Snack time! And THIS time I'll remember to take a pic!!

Woot!

Dee

To Be Continued....

That's what it said at the end of Biggest Loser.

What I said, as I turned to my husband with huge eyes and eyebrows slammed together was "Are you Fucking kidding me???"

I can't STAND to be continueds. They drive me NUTS!!!!

*mumble fracken mumble fricken mumble*

Thanks for listening,

Dee

♪ What Have You Done Today, To Make You Feeeel Proud ♪

DAMN, I love that song. Actually, DAMN I love SINGING that song!!

I have one more workout to get through today. I have gone a little over on my calories because I forgot to incorporate an afternoon snack. And after doing a run/speedwalk at lunch, and walking to get my niece in the afternoon, I was a hongry girl!

I kinda feel like all I'm reporting these days is food... but then, that's all I got, really. Work has been swampy. I feel like I go go go every day until 8pm, between work, commitments and working out. I get 2-3 workouts in a day, so that's good.

I did some investigating today about calories again. I'm not convinced I'm eating what I'm supposed to be. But it freaks me out to eat more, in case I'm wrong. I mean, I'm eating a healthy amount and losing at a healthy rate, so messing with it would purely be for vanity's sake.

I see my doctor tomorrow, and I'm taking along a list of my vitamins, a printout of an average day from NutriMirror, and requesting bloodwork to see where my body is at. I'm a little excited about it, to be honest. I have a list of things to talk to him about.

On to the eats!

Breakfast today had a Mexican flair. A whole wheat english muffin (well, THAT's not very mexican, is it?), 1/4 cup egg white, and a tablespoon each of guacamole and salsa (Ole!), paired with 2/3 cup pineapple and tablespoon of toasted almonds. Served with a glass of skim and vitamins for a total of 439 calories.




Lunch was another salad today. It's on the menu all week actually, in different forms. Today's had 3oz baked tofu, 20 grams green olives, 1/2 an egg white, 1/4 cup craisins, 10 grams blue cheese, and a tablespoon of dressing for a total of 393 calories.



Doh! I forgot to take a pic of my snack! I was on a call when I made it, so distracted. It was an apple with PB2 for 108 calories. Which reminds me... I'm going to have to hit Sammy up for her credit card tomorrow (payday) and order more PB2... I'm almost OUT! The HORROR!

Dinner is a little skimpy, but that's because I'm getting my grains later in the form of POPCORN!!! **happy happy happy dance** So on the plate we have a filet of salmon, 4 spears of asparagus, and 175 grams of cauliflower. The veggies were steamed, nothing added. This plate equals 203 calories.



I haven't made the popcorn yet... I'll post a pic of it tomorrow. I can tell you it will be 570 calories (yes, I know, but I like quantity and lots of butter ☺) for a grand total for the day of 1713 calories.

Remember I mentioned my dogs? Well here is Oscar, trying to cajole me into giving him my breakfast.

And here is Morgana's ass heading out the door because that goddam camera is back.

LOL... funny critters they are.

Have a great night, folks! I'm off to work out with my buddy (waves at Michelle!) and then watch Biggest Loser!!

Dee

Monday!

Good Evening, Blogging World!! I hope your day was as On Plan as mine was! A fabulous day it was, too. Good eats, good working, good being at home. Good yoga, too! I had a lovely session with Denise Austin at lunch. Nothing like a 50 minute stretch, huh? Rather beautiful, it was. Well, her part of it, anyways. I still stumble a little bit, and I'm sure I don't look half as graceful as they do. Makes me want to take a class once, just to ensure I'm doing the poses correctly. Hard to tell when it's just you and your tv. I mean, Denise SAYS that I'm doing awesome, but how does she really know, hmmm?

On to the eats!

For breakfast today, it was the homade McMuffin. That's a whole wheat english muffin with .75 ounces of baked ham, 1/4 cup egg white, a tablespoon of asiago and a bloop of horseradish mustard. On the side is a 1/2 cup of fresh cut pineapple and a tablespoon of toasted almonds. Served with milk and vitamins brings this to 454 calories of yummy goodness.

Breakfast kept me full from 7:30am until after my yoga. But as soon as that DVD was off, at 12:55, I was rustling in the kitchen, lemme tell ya! I have here 2oz of baby greens, a Highliner salmon filet, 1/4 cup craisins, 10 grams of blue cheese, 20 grams of green olives, 1/2 of an egg white, and a tablespoon of Basil Oregano dressing. Oh, I had to laugh, though... After doing all this prep, and setting up my plate beautifully and snapping that picture *DUMP* it all went into a big mixing bowl to be swirled around and chopped up for easy shovelling. LOLOL It made me wonder if other bloggers do this, too.

I was halfway done my salad when I remembered that I could have a piece of garlic bread!! Damn, have to have THAT!! Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy, all the way back to the kitchen, doing the happy food dance. The dogs were rather excited until they realized the dance was not on their behalf. Silly dogs... it never is. But they live in perpetual hope. So this is 1/2 an english muffin with 1 teaspoon of Buttery Becel, a sprinkle of garlic powder, and a tablespoon of shredded asiago, toasted in the toaster oven. SO GOOD!!! And it rounded out my lunch to a whopping 445 calories!

Dinner was running late, so I had to improvise. This wasn't ON the plan, but it sufficed. And the calories are noted and I'm still within my daily budget, so it's all good. It's just that tater tots are not the most nutrionally sound item I could have made. Sigh. Ah well! On the plate is curried chicken burgers, 10 tater tots, and 1 ounce of spinach. Topped with 1 tablespoon of ranch and a side of 2 tablespoons of Blue Menu Ketchup Style Sauce. 531 calories.

I forgot to snap a pic of the apple I grabbed on my way out the door this afternoon for an additional 55 calories, bringing my daily total to 1486, with two workouts under my belt. Am I happy with that? Hells yes!!

Well, that's all I have for you today. I have to go get ready for my second workout, then I have another hour or so of work left to do. Busy busy busy!!

Dee

Sunday Eats!

Before I get to the food, remember I said I wished I had taken a pic of my measuring equipment? Well, I did! *shakes head* You poor poor readers. You are going to end up inundated with pics of my stuff. Seriously, a monster has been released. And it holds a camera. My cairn is constantly slamming herself out the pet door, because she hates the camera and escapes before I can take a picture of her. She doesn't care if you are NOT taking a pic of her, because you just MIGHT and it's not ALLOWED. My weiner on the other hand... I just finished taking pics of my dinner when I see him below, staring longingly at the camera. He's so funny. I'll take pics of them later.

Measure Central!

This is on top of my toaster oven, right where I do all my prep work. Very convenient!

Breakfast this morning was different. An english muffin, toasted and mustarded (it's a word now, shut up), with 1/4 cup egg white and a tablespoon asiago cheese. On the side was a dish of 1/2 cup fresh pineapple and a tablespoon walnuts. Milk and vitamins rounded it out. (tee hee, that sounds so critiquesque) A total of 391 calories.

Lunch today was a bait and switch. I thought I had a Blue Menu tomato soup, so I had my tastebuds all set for grilled cheese and tomato. Nope, none left. And I didn't WANT to dip my grilled cheese in squash or carrot soup. Not the same. So, I made a can of Campbells, and logged it after I'd eaten it. If I had known how bad it was nutritionally, I never would have eaten that can of poison!!! Holy SHIT. One cup of soup has 1420 grams of sodium. That's 62% of your daily recommended intake. WTF??? And at 180 calories, so completely not worth it. And that's when it's made with water (which it was)!!!

The sandwich was meh. Instead of buttering the bread for a bizmillion calories, I sprayed it with my misto of olive oil and fried it. Sooo not the same. But, I can get used to it. Or just spend the calories when I want a real grilled cheese. What I'll save using good tomato soup will make up for the expenditure of the margarine.

Either way, today's lunch was truly not great at 472 calories. Pfffffffft.

Dinner... now dinner was fucking incredible!!! Oh yes it WAS! I put a pork shoulder (bone in) in the oven for about five hours at 200 degrees. I squirted dijon horseradish mustard on it, and had it sitting on a chopped in half onion. While it was 'resting' waiting to be cut up, I steamed fresh green beans in a sauce pan. When they were el dente, I chopped those onions up, and threw them in with the beans. Splash with worcestershire sauce, and toss in a couple tablespoons of sliced almonds and you have a freaking incredible side dish. I also steamed sliced yellow baby potatoes and drew a line of ketchup type sauce (Blue Menu). 50z of the pork, 2.35 oz of the potatoes, and 5oz of the veggies makes a really happy Dee for 408 calories.

The only excercise I got today was doing an ab workout and having some nookie time, so not a lot of calories to play with today. My total intake was 1271 for the day. You'll notice there was not a snack. I had breakfast at 10am, so I held off lunch until 1pm. I had a Timmy's with milk and sweetener (oh damn, I guess I shoulda taken a pic of it) in the afternoon, so I guess that was my snack. Hey, I didn't calculate the calories for that!!! Hmm, I wonder how much milk they use. Can't be more than 40 calories worth. Let's call it 40.

Well, I'm off to go snuggle my man on the couch and watch hockey... or read a magazine while listening to hockey, anyways.

Have a nice evening!

Dee

Entering the Realm of Food Blogging

In case you missed my rambling notes recently, I've decided to join the realm of food blogging. Why? Well, a couple of reasons. First, I keep reading articles about how food bloggers are more accountable, ergo more successful in their life journey. Second, I'm totally jealous of everyone else that does it, and third, it kinda looks fun!

Now, if only I can remember to TAKE pics of my food. Yesterday was the grand launch... which fizzled pretty good. Lunch was out, and I didn't have my camera with me (mental note, need bigger purse to carry camera in), and dinner I was so hungry I cooked and ate without even the THOUGHT of taking a pic. Sheesh! This food blogging thing is harder than I thought!

I think taking pictures of my food will help me to gain a level off appreciation for my fuel that was not there before. Presentation will become important to me, and with that level of love will come a newer appreciation for the food itself. How many times have I whipped a meal together then gulped it down without even looking at it? Mindful eating is something that is talked about a lot on WW, and I cannot truthfully say I'm a mindful eater. Maybe, with sprucing up the presentation, and taking a picture to share with the world, it will help me to appreciate my creations more.

Or not. I mean who knows, right? LOL Maybe I'm being too philisophical about the whole damn thing.

So, without further ado, I give you... My breakfast!

Breafast yesterday morning was my old standby. 1/3 cup of porridge, cooked in 1/3 cup of almond breeze and 1/3 cup of water with a half banana. On top is a tablespoon of PB2, reconstituted to "drizzle", a tablespoon of toasted almond slices and a teaspoon of dark chocolate chips. Served with my milk & vitamins. You are looking at 381 calories. (Look, I found my colouring capability again! Woot!)

Lunch was at the Superstore. I bought a Cali-Samuri Sushi Combo from Bento Nouveau. It came it at 270 calories. I didn't TAKE a picture of it, but I did STEAL one from their website!

Doesn't that look yummy?? (Sam, unwrinkle your nose!) Side note: I've never liked seaweed, so avoided the sushi style rolls. But something made me decide to try this, and it was GOOD! It's possible that my tastebuds have changed so much that I enjoy it now. I'll have to try it again to see. Although, I don't know which I prefer more, the sushi, or the flavour of the wasabi mixed with the soy sauce. That is seriously the best flavour in the WORLD to me.

Dinner was fanTASTic. I bought the Sea Quest seafood medley, wich has octopus, squid, cuttlefish, shrimp, clams and mussels in it. I sauteed that badboy with lemon, dill and at the end threw in a tablespoon of 95% fat free cream cheese. I served it over 2oz of baby greens, and had 10 grams of blue cheese and 5 grams of walnuts, and a tablespoon of Mediterranian Vinigrette, all for 202 calories!

"Hey, wait a minute" you say. "What do you MEAN grams? You've never measured in GRAMS before!" Well, thank you for noticing!!! You'll see a lot more of that with my...

NEW SCALE!!!

Isn't it PRETTY?? It measures nutrition, too, but I doubt if I will be using that feature, since I track on NutriMirror, which is only the best site ever. However, if you DON'T track your calories on a website, these scales that have the nutritional information in them is a rather fantastic invention. I think I blogged about this yesterday, but it bears repeating. I sourced out the best deal, and found them averaging between $50 and $70. This one was in the Real Canadian SuperStore for $29.99. With as much as I use a scale and measuring cups/spoons (every meal), to me this was a worthy investment. The most important feature to me is being able to zero out. So I can put my plate on it, zero it out. Add my veggies, zero it out. Add my whatever, zero it out. Add my meat. Record all the weights then run to the computer and track it all accurately in NutriMirror. I did pick up more cups and spoons, too. I constantly run out of table and tea spoon measures. So now I have a measuring cup just filled with those two items. MUCH more user friendly! (damn, shoulda taken a pic of my setup)

Did I mention yesterday that I had a date? Yep! I had a date with Crystal. A couch date to watch the Penguins of Madagascar. Turned out to be a short, not a feature film. It was cute but kinda disappointing. I love those penguins. I always use the *waving hands in air* "nothing to see here" line. After the penguins we watched Wall-E. Okay, I know I'm behind the times, but OMG, what a sweet show!!

I made my "fast becoming world famous" (okay, my world only, but whatever) PMS Popcorn. I made it UBER decadent. One and a half cups of kernels, popped. 1/3 of one of those half blocks of organic butter. Into the melted butter I threw a tablespoon of PB2, NOT reconstituted. Whisk it together. Drizzle over popcorn. Throw in 1/4 cup of dark chocolate chippits. Let the hot air popper blow on the bowl for a couple of minutes, then give the whole shebang a stir.

TAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! PMS POPCORN!!!!!!!

Okay, not the greatest picture, but you HAVE to taste it! Seriously yummy. Serious trigger food! Luckily I'm not pms'ing so I'm all good.

Hmmm... I should let the PB2 folks know about my recipe. They like to hear what people do with their product.

Today is Day 6 of being OP. I am making it through the weekend!! Whooo HOOOO!!! I'm in on a challenge on the WW board of who can stay OP the longest. My competitive nature is kicking in.

Did I tell you I did my WI yesterday? Down .8 to 147.0lbs. Not fabulous, but not bad. The only reason I'm a little disgruntled with it is that during my PMS time I gained more than that, so I didn't lose as much as I wanted to. But, I'm still testing my calorie balance, having mucked with my numbers a little bit on NutriMirror. Trying to find the healthy balance of protein/carb/fat and how many calories I can eat both on days I excercise and days I don't, and lose more than .6 a week. It's still a learning experience, and I don't think it will ever stop being one. But I'm good with that. It keeps me on my toes. :)

Okay, that's the end of my first food blog. S'okay? You like? One thing I've learned is to upload all pics FIRST, then write around them. When you write and then insert a pic, it fucks everything up and you have to go back and fix spacing and such, which is a HUGE pain in the ass. The last two pics, I finally figured it out. But hey, at least I did, right? Yesssssss!

Have a great Sunday, folks!

Thanks for listening,

Dee